Week 10:Confessions

"Edgar!"Shelley called from the top of the stairs. She waited. Usually he could hear her from the guest room, but there wasn't a sound. When he didn't appear, she quickly ran down the stairs.

"Where is he?"she thought to herself, poking her head in his room and seeing that he wasn't there. She stepped out and suddenly noticed that the bathroom light was on. She took a step toward the light and saw that the door was cracked open.

Shelley didn't quite understand what she was seeing at first. A foul smell wafted through the door, a smell she didn't recognize. She could see Edgar crouching on the floor with his back to her, thick, red liquid on the floor and all over his hands and face, Edgar's head bent close to what appeared to be some sort of animal, and the unmistakable sounds of slurping. Shelley's legs froze as she gaped at him, unable to believe what she was seeing. That couldn't be...blood?

At some point Shelley was able to regain the use of her legs and back slowly away from the door. She felt her heart beat hard inside her chest as she tiptoed back upstairs as fast as she could and shut her bedroom door behind her. She realized she was shaking as she collapsed on her bed.

Her first response was repulsion. The very smell coming from the bathroom was enough to make her head spin. That Edgar could eat that - had to eat it - was disgusting. It was beyond disgusting - it was freakish. That wasn't human - even animals wouldn't resort to that.

When Shelley's limbs stopped shaking and she felt calm enough to think clearly, she sat up and tried hard to think about what this meant. This much she knew: One, Edgar drank blood. Two, he had kept it a secret until now. That, she could understand. Three, as far as she knew, her family were the only people who knew. She could only guess where Edgar was getting animals from, and there was no way her father would freely hand out information like that to the town without reason. Besides, she would have heard about it by now if anybody else knew. If other people found out, she couldn't imagine the kind of disgust and hatred the townspeople would show Edgar.

Shelley sunk down on the floor, trying to think. Edgar was her dearest friend, and nothing - even this - wouldn't change that. Repulsed as she was, she tried to frame this new information in Edgar's point of view. He had never eaten with the rest of the family. Shelley had noticed this long ago, but she had never questioned it when her mother simply explained he needed to take his "medication," as if his hunger was a severe disorder abnormal from that of the rest of the family that needed to be given treatment. Shelley thought about this for a moment. How must Edgar feel when her mother said it that way in front of him? How must it feel to have a secret codename placed on something so unoffensive as hunger? Why didn't Edgar ever tell her what he felt?

Even as she thought the question, she knew the answer. Edgar never told her because he was afraid to. She knew him well enough by now. She knew how scared he was, even now, of doing something wrong to make her or her mother like him less. Ever since that night when he had confessed how insecure he felt around her, she had paid extra attention for signs. And she had found them - everyday, in small comments, in small acts - she came to realize how scared and nervous he really was. And the more afraid she realized it, the more she came to love him for trying so hard despite his fears. Disgusting as it was, this was part of who he was, and knowing how afraid he must be to share that part of himself with her made her realize she really couldn't blame him for not telling her.

Shelley closed her eyes and sat back down on the bed. She tried to imagine hating him, or being disgusted by him. But no matter how hard she tried imagining the thought of being disgusted by Edgar, she couldn't. She loved him. She loved that he wanted her love enough that he would hide the one thing that in his eyes made him ugly and abnormal to her. She loved that despite the fact he drank blood, no matter how disgusting it is, he would always be beautiful to her because she knew that his intentions were innocent and pure. She loved that he tried so hard to protect her from himself.

She loved him. She realized this now more than ever. She loved him so much, she knew she couldn't stand to keep her feelings bottled up forever. No matter how scared he was, or how scared she was that telling him would ruin their friendship, she needed to.

"I have to to tell him...,"she whispered quietly to herself. Just saying the words out loud set her at ease. Shelley laid back against her bed, closing her eyes and silently repeating the words over and over to herself to convince herself that they weren't just wishful promises. This time was different. This time she would finally do it.


Shelley didn't have the courage to approach him until she knew there was a chance that he had already gone to bed. She emerged from her room quietly and peeked down the stairs, only to see Edgar at the bottom, on his way up. Her heart dropped but she forced a cheerful smile anyway.

"Hey. I thought you would have already went up to bed by now,"Shelley called out from the top of the stairs. Her voice was surprisingly steady. It was almost strange to see him the same as always now, the blood and gore she had seen on his face and hands completely gone and replaced with that familiar innocent smile.

"I didn't get to say goodnight to you yet,"he said in reply.

"Well, come say goodnight now,"she said, coming down the stairs, "I'm so happy my mom is letting you go tomorrow!"

"I am too,"he said, beaming happily, "I never got to thank you for standing up for me today, Shelley."

"You don't have to thank me for that,"she said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what people in town were saying...I didn't want to worry you..."

"Oh, it's alright,"he said, smiling weakly and glancing down, "I suppose I should have guessed..."

"...Are you scared for tomorrow?"Shelley asked quietly. Edgar slowly nodded.

"...What if they don't approve of me, Shelley?"he asked softly.

"They will. They'll love you,"she assured him, hesitating before quietly adding, "...I know I do." Edgar smiled gratefully at her, not understanding the peculiar look Shelley was giving him.

"...Do you know what that means, Edgar?"she asked finally when he didn't respond. He tilted his head to the side, confused.

"Love? Um...,"he said, thinking "To love someone means to regard with favor or have a warm personal attachment to someone."

"Yeah, but I mean...have you ever felt it for someone before?"she asked. He frowned.

"Um...,"he said hesitantly, looking uncomfortable at the sudden change in direction this conversation had taken, "In...what context?"

"In a romantic way,"she said slowly, deliberately looking him in the eye, "Like in a boy-girl way."

"...R-romantic?"he asked, not looking at her.

"You know, like the married kind." Edgar looked at her questioningly. He had never seen Mr. and Mrs. Parker treat each other very affectionately at all. In fact, when Dr. Parker got near her, she seemed to shrink away.

"Is it like stronger liking?"he asked, thinking maybe she was talking about other marriages he had read about that did seem more affectionate. He knew what romantic meant - the dictionary definition anyway. He had read a few classic romances, but he had never made a connection to the feelings he felt now to the feelings of the characters. They were words on a page, not feelings. The way Shelley described it though made his thoughts flicker back to all those countless moments when he had felt a strange burning in his chest and wondered why he felt more giddy around Shelley than he ever did around Mrs. Parker, why even though he loved them both dearly, there was a part of him that had always longed for Shelley's presence and admired her in a way he had never admired Mrs. Parker.

"Kind of, yeah. It's like...when a boy and girl really want to be with each other and express their affections for each other,"she explained, blushing a little, "It's when you care about someone a lot and you're really attracted to them physically and emotionally."

"That kind...is it normal?"he asked slowly.

"Yeah, of course it is,"she said.

"Are you sure?"he asked, looking serious now. Shelley laughed in amusement.

"Of course it's normal, Edgar. Everybody feels it at some point."

"Oh good,"Edgar said, breathing a sigh of relief, "I'm glad."

"Why are you glad?" Edgar shifted his feet, nervously looking down.

"Um...because...I think I've felt that way about someone. I just...um...I was just afraid there might be something wrong with me, that's all." Her breath caught in her throat as Shelley slowly put two and two together. Edgar began to look uncomfortable, suddenly aware that he had said too much.

"...Is that someone...me?"

Edgar felt his face burn up, not knowing what to say to her or how to respond. He felt a slow numbness creep from the tips of his fingertips to the end of his toes until he could scarcely remember how to breath. She was asking him to confess his deepest secret, his deepest fear. His mind went blank. He didn't know what to say or do.

"She'll just laugh at me,"he thought bitterly to himself, "How can someone as beautiful like her possibly feel the same about someone as abnormal and disgusting as me?" He felt himself shy up, hiding away in his shell. He hung his head for a moment, bracing himself for the inevitable. He knew this moment had to come. He just wished he could stay being her friend a little longer before she came to think so little of him.

"...Yes,"he finally whispered, not looking at her. He waited for the laughter to come. He waited and waited, but it never came.

"...Why didn't you tell me?"she asked softly. He hesitated, scared, though a little reassured from her lack of a negative reaction.

"...Because I'm scared,"he responded finally, "And...embarrassed." Shelley opened her mouth to say something, but his expression when he said this stopped her. He looked more than scared. He looked humiliated, like he was ashamed of his feelings.

"Why? I thought it was so obvious that I..." Edgar glanced up at her, confused.

"That you what?"

"That...I liked you too." Edgar stared at her incredulously, unsure if he heard her right.

"You...what?"he asked slowly, wide-eyed with disbelief.

"I like you, Edgar...a lot,"she said softly.

"...In a friend way?"he asked quietly, more scared now than he ever was before, "Or..."

"No...like the way you said you liked me,"she said softly.

"I-wha...Why?"he blurted out without thinking. She laughed, making his heart jump as she reached out and gently reached for his hand.

"Because you're you,"she said with a gentle smile, "That's why." He gaped, feeling like he would melt as she looked lovingly at him. He felt uncomfortable, still unable to believe that her loving stare was for him. Without meaning to, he took a step back away from her, his breath catching in his throat.

"I'm sorry,"he whispered softly, looking apologetically at her, "I didn't mean to do that. I'm just...kind of shocked."

"It's okay,"she said softly. She closed the distance between them once more, glancing up at him.

"Try again,"she whispered softly. He could barely breathe. Slowly he leaned in slightly, glancing up at her to make sure this was okay. Then suddenly a sound just above them stopped him, making him jump back again.

"Shelley? Edgar?"Meredith called from upstairs,"Kids, get to bed, it's late." Shelley waited until her mother was gone to turn back to Edgar. He stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say or do, or how to return to that moment when they were about to - he didn't even know what they were about to do. Slowly he looked back down and gently let her hand go. Shelley looked disappointed.

"I guess... we should probably get to bed,"she said slowly. She turned around hesitantly, waiting to see if he would say or do something.

"Shelley, wait,"Edgar said just as she began walking back up the stairs. She stopped immediately and looked back at him.

"Yeah?"she asked. He paused a moment, looking down at his feet in embarrassment. Finally he took the small two steps it took to fill the space between them and, for the first time without asking, hugged her. Shelley hugged him back slowly, confused but happy. She leaned her head on his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him. She could hear his heart beat wildly with nervousness, but she thought it was so cute.

"Thank you so much, Shelley,"he whispered softly, "For telling me. I feel so relieved." He laughed lightly in her ear, smiling into her shoulder. She felt her heart melt with love as she wrapped her arms tighter around him, breathing him in, filling herself with his sweet scent.

He released her gently, carefully, as if he were afraid of breaking the bond that had newly formed between them. She reached in slowly, gently brushing her hand against his. Then without warning she leaned in and kissed him. The kiss surprised Edgar, to say the least. He felt dizzy and breathless, like someone had kicked his legs out from behind him. He still couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact that Shelley was kissing him, not because she was being nice or taking pity on him, but because she actually wanted to. He didn't know how or why, but somehow here she was, his own angel he worshipped and adored, somehow able to transcend to his level of bitter disgustingness and ugliness and offer up a love that he knew a black and sinful soul such as his could never deserve.

They broke apart slowly, both unwilling to let the kiss end. Edgar glanced shyly at her, wishing he knew what to do next. It felt natural to kiss her again, and hesitantly, he did so, surprised that she followed him, fervently kissing him back.

"I told you you weren't capable of a girl not liking you,"she whispered softly when they broke apart. Edgar smiled slowly, feeling his heart swell with love.

"Shelley? If...things go badly tomorrow...would you still feel the same about me?"

"Edgar, don't worry,"she said, smiling reassuringly, "I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to be afraid of failing. I'll be right there with you. I promise." Edgar forced a smile, trying to believe her.

"Thank you...,"he said softly. Shelley smiled and wrapped her arms around him once more. When they broke apart, Edgar glanced down, rubbing his head.

"Um..."

"We should...probably get some sleep,"Shelley finished. He nodded.

"Night, Edgar,"Shelley said softly. Edgar glanced up at her, offering a shy smile.

"Goodnight, Shelley,"he responded. She walked back upstairs slowly, her gaze lingering for a while before she finally disappeared in her room. Edgar watched her go, and when she was finally gone, he felt his stomach do a flip-flop as he walked back to his room, unable to stop smiling. For the first time in a long time, Edgar felt truly happy.


Everyone but Dr. Parker was tense the next morning, but nobody was willing to show it.

"Edgar, dear, are you almost ready?"Meredith asked. Edgar had been ready an hour ago. He was waiting for them.

He nodded stiffly, unable to do much else.

"Everything's going to be fine, dear,"she said, sensing what was wrong, "There's nothing to be nervous about." He nodded again. Mrs. Parker cast him one last worried look and then left the room.

"Hey,"a voice said softly from behind him. He turned around slowly to face Shelley, struck dumb for a moment. Edgar had seen Shelley dress up for church before, but for some reason she simply looked, if possible, even more breathtakingly beautiful than usual. He wanted to take her and replay everything that had happened the previous night, but he couldn't even move, he was so petrified with nervousness.

"You look beautiful, Shelley,"he complimented her instead. She looked down at herself, as if just noticing that she was wearing a dress.

"You look pretty handsome yourself, Edgar,"she answered playfully, trying to lighten the mood. She stepped forward and handed something to him that Edgar hadn't noticed she was holding before.

"What's this?"he asked, taking it from her.

"A sort-of present,"she said, shrugging, "To boost your confidence." He looked down and examined what it was he was holding. It appeared to be some sort childish grammar book. He opened it and found a page devoted to the definition of an adverb.

"Um...thank you,"he said, unsure what this was for but nonetheless grateful for her concern.

"That was the first grammar book I used for you. Remember? When you got really upset because you didn't understand any of it?"she asked, smiling. Edgar stared at her for a moment, then flipped the book back open and stared at the pages in disbelief.

"This is the same book?"he asked in disbelief.

"I made you cry, remember?"she laughed. Edgar flushed, wishing she hadn't brought that up.

"You were trying to teach me prepositional phrases..."

"I think you know a little bit more than just prepositional phrases now, Edgar,"Shelley said warmly. Edgar stared at her for a moment, not knowing what to say. Slowly he broke out into a soft smile, his earlier nervousness washed away from his mind.

"Thank you, Shelley,"he said gratefully.

"Anytime,"she said softly in reply, her eyes unwaveringly on him. He could tell there was something she wanted to say to him, but wouldn't because she didn't want to distract him from what was coming.

"May I hug you?"he asked politely. Shelley laughed and rolled her eyes, pulling him in for a kiss instead. Edgar kissed her back, a huge smile breaking over his face. They stayed like that for a long time until he heard Mrs. Parker coming back, gently releasing her just as she walked in.

"Ready to go?"Mrs. Parker asked him. He nodded, a little more confidently this time.

"Let's go then." Mrs. Parker tried to sound calm and reassured, but Edgar could tell she was nervous too. They were all nervous. He felt Shelley quietly approach him from behind and gently slip her hand into his. He tried to relax as they got into the car, but he was too dizzy and light-headed to even realize that this was his first time being in a car.

Shelley climbed in the backseat next to him - not the window seat but the middle seat. She angled her legs so her mother couldn't see her reach for his hand again, purposely leaning in close to him. Edgar closed his eyes and tried to shove down the butterflies flooding his stomach, whether they were from Shelley or from what was coming he didn't know, though.

He couldn't even concentrate on the moving images flying past. His mind was too full. For some reason he felt as if he was racing to his own doom - running to find out if he was as normal as Mrs. Parker insisted he was, or forever cursed to be the monster he felt sure he was on that bathroom floor. It all depended on them. If he could be normal to them, that was proof enough for that he was normal enough to belong in this world.

"Edgar?" Mrs. Parker's voice brought him back down to reality. He snapped his head up, realizing for the first time that they had stopped, and just outside his window was a large tent.

"How are you feeling, dear?"Meredith asked softly, concern and worry in her voice.

"...Not well...,"he murmured.

"You look kind of green,"Shelley commented quietly.

"Sweetheart, it's normal to be nervous,"she comforted him, "Just know we're all behind you." He nodded stiffly, trying to look for comfort in what she was saying, but all he felt was fear. Mrs. Parker stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to say something. Then without a word, she got out of the car and came around to the back. He was about to get out when she suddenly leaned down and wrapped her arms around him. Confused, he slowly hugged her back.

"I want you to know, dear, that whatever happens, I'm so proud of you. You've come so far, and you've worked so hard. And even if things don't go the way you hoped, just know that I'll always love you, sweetheart." He stared at her blankly as she leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and held his breath, trying with all his might to believe her, to believe that his family's love was enough to make him feel worthy to be a part of a world he had learned to love and appreciate with all his heart.

As the three of them walked nervously toward the tent, Edgar felt two pairs of hands slip into his. He glanced sideways at Shelley, who offered a reassuring smile and a light squeeze on his hand. Ready to take the biggest chance he had ever made, he breathed in a deep breath and took his first cautious steps into the light of the revival tent.


AN: The end. :) Or at least, end of Act 1. And I'm not doing Act II, so yeah, it kind of is the end. I did a rewrite of the Children, children scene, but I lost the edited version and I'm not sure I'm willing to go back and do it again. We'll see. Thanks for reading, both reviewers and non-reviewers alike!