Chapter 27

I awoke earlier than usual. It was dark and Kylie was still sleeping soundly next to me. My back was hurting so I rolled ungracefully out of bed and put my dressing gown on. I then crept up the stairs and made my way into the kitchen. Consulting our calendar that kept track of everything time-related, I was reminded that today, February 9th, was Ben's 'age-up date' – that is, his adjusted birthday in relation to the time travel. It could very well explain my shortened slumber. Today was going to be about him, which made things awkward for me. He was turning 20 and we were going to the movies to celebrate.

I opened the fridge and poured myself a glass of juice. I went upstairs to the sitting room. I was surprised, however, to see that the room was occupied. The birthday boy himself was sitting in one of the armchairs, a glass of milk in one hand and a book in the other. For a split second I thought about spinning on my heel and high-tailing it out of there before he saw me but then I thought about being the bigger person. I gingerly sat down on the three-seater lounge. He looked up at me and I swear I saw a smile flicker onto his face for a second. I smiled at him.
"Happy aging-up day," I said to him.
"Thanks," he replied.
"What are you doing up so early?"
"It's the only time I can be alone."
"Well, sorry for cramping your style."
"It's okay."
We then sunk into an uncomfortable silence. What did I have to say to him? And why wasn't he completely ignoring me like usual? We each took a loud slurp of our drinks and avoided eye contact. I felt movement and made an involuntary sound.
"What is it?" Ben asked, sounding concerned.
"Just the baby kicking," I responded.
After a pause, he tentatively asked, "Can I feel?"
I nodded and he got up, putting the glass and book on the side table, and came over. He knelt on the floor in front of me and placed his hand on my tummy. I found myself placing my hand over his. At that moment, the baby decided to give a definitive kick, as if it approved. We looked into each other's eyes. It was the most intimate moment we'd had since that night. Eventually he got up and cleared his throat to announce he was going to have a shower. After he left I found myself grinning stupidly.

Soon the rest of the household was awake and Jenny was cooking breakfast. This morning it was pancakes, Ben's favourite. The nine of us sat in the dining room and ate, conversation flowing. Peter, who was seated to my right, leaned in and said quietly, "You woke up on the right side of the bed today."
"What do you mean?" I retorted.
"You're in a good mood, which is surprising given what day it is."
"I had a good morning."
"Already? The morning has just begun."
"For you perhaps."
I left him wondering what I meant. I didn't feel the need to divulge the contents of my morning to anyone; it was a private moment between Ben and I.

After everyone had finished eating, Jenny went and got Ben's birthday presents and placed them on the table in front of him. Jenny put her arms around him from behind and kissed the side of his head.
"What's this?" Ben asked, feigning surprise.
"Open them!" Jack, on Ben's left, exclaimed.
Ben obliged and started peeling the wrapping paper off the first present. It contained some clothes that Jenny and Kylie had picked out. The second one was a flat square item, which might have been an obvious shape. It was revealed to be a record, Wednesday Morning, 3AM, the debut album of Simon & Garfunkel. Back when we first got here, before things became complicated, Ben had told me that he hated folk music, with the distinct exception of Simon & Garfunkel, which he liked. Needless to say, it was my idea to get the record for him. He looked across the table at me in awe, knowing that this would have been my influence. I noticed Kylie, too, looking amazed at something.
"I'm so sorry about the folded corner, Ben, it was the only one we had left," Brian explained. His family owned a record store.
"I think it gives it character," Kylie chimed in, nonchalantly taking a sip of milk.
There were a few other little presents that Ben opened, after which he thanked everyone and we all went to our respective bedrooms to get ready for the day.

In mine and Kylie's bedroom, I was picking out an outfit when Kylie stalked in with a hysterical look on her face.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I am 99% sure Uncle Ben has that album in his record collection," she answered excitedly.
"So?"
"I used to always go through his records when I was at his house, so I know the library pretty well. He has that album. With a folded corner."
"Oh wow."
"I can't believe all along I have held a souvenir of this time in my hands before it even happened to me. And Ben knew the whole time! He knew me before I was born, which is absolutely crazy! I wonder what influence he had over my parents in regards to me…"
"Influence?"
"Yeah! What if he suggested my name to them when I was born? Who knows how much he's groomed me for this my whole life, without me ever realising it? You know, it's thanks to his record collection that I know about The Beatles."
"Sounds like maybe he has been… preparing you, that's a better word than grooming."

Soon we were all ready and were being picked up to be taken to the cinema. We were going to see Goldfinger, the third James Bond film. It had been released months prior, but one cinema was still showing it. Jack was too young to see it so he and Brian were staying home and spending some quality time together. I hadn't the foggiest what 'quality time' between Brian and our ten-year-old entailed. The rest of us piled into a car and were chauffeured to the cinema.

By coincidence, I ended up sitting next to Ben in the theatre. If the others weren't there, on the outside it could be construed as a date. We seemed to be on good terms today, ever since our moment this morning. We even shared popcorn. It felt like we had finally turned a corner. I prided myself on knowing every Bond theme song so when Shirley Bassey's voice rang through the theatre, so did mine. The others just looked at me in amusement. I even caught Ben beside me chuckling. It was good to see him laugh, and it did things to me. After the movie ended, we went for ice cream.

Later that night, three of the boys were coming over for dinner. This would be John's first time visiting the new house. Paul wouldn't be coming as he and his girlfriend Jane were on holiday. Kylie and I were having some downtime, chatting in our little living area in the basement, when the most unexpected person came down the stairs. John slowly walked over to us, avoiding eye contact by looking at the floor. It was obvious he wanted to say something to us. Kylie tensed beside me. The last time we were alone with John, it didn't go so well. We looked at him curiously and apprehensively.
"I need to talk to you both," he said, still staring at the floor.
"Are you sure 'talk' is all you want to do?" I taunted with a glare.
"Yes."
He moved so he was standing directly in front of us and looked us in the eyes.
"It's been hard for me to accept what I did to you. It's been even harder to forgive myself."
He waited a beat as we absorbed his words. He was asking for our forgiveness.
"Sophie, Kylie… I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I don't know what I was thinking – that's the thing, I wasn't thinking. I was drunk and I had two lovely young lasses in my house. It's taken me a while to realise my mistake and how much I hurt you. I've been keeping my distance because I'm ashamed of what I did to you. Just seeing either of you made me feel so guilty. Know that I'm stepping outside my comfort zone here. If you want to hit me, you can."
Instead, neither Kylie nor I moved. I found myself believing him.
"I accept your apology, John," I said.
John looked relieved. Kylie jerked her head to look at me, as if surprised. She looked as though she couldn't believe I was forgiving him that easily. I knew apologies and accepting mistakes were difficult for John. It took courage for him to do this. I couldn't forgive him, but I could accept his apology.
"But there's more," he continued. "What I did to you… it's not what you think."
"How?" demanded Kylie, speaking for the first time.
"I didn't do anything to you that could get you pregnant."
"And why are you only telling us this now?" I implored. "Why, this whole time, have you just let everyone think that there was a chance you could be the father of our babies?"
"I don't know… then I'd have to admit some responsibility."
"Well, thank you for finally telling us," Kylie huffed, a dripping with sarcasm.

John let out a heavy breath, and it sounded to me like a sigh of relief. He must've been grappling with it this whole time, feeling guilty and wanting to get the truth off his chest. With a curt nod, he spun on his heel and headed back up the stairs. After he was gone, Kylie whipped around to face me and snarled, "I can't believe you forgive him."
"He seemed genuinely sorry…"
"So? It's unforgivable, what he did to us! How can you let it go so easily?"
"I don't know! I guess it's just… well, because it's John. I've grown up idolising him and the boys. I know about his whole life. I know from history that at the moment he is struggling. It took an enormous effort for him to come and apologise to us and admit that what he did was wrong. I still don't like what he did, but I respect his courage."
"This is why they say never meet your idols," Kylie huffed, shaking her head.

The two of us retreated up the stairs where everyone else was in the dining room being jovial. With the latest revelation from John, the father of my baby now had a fifty percent chance of being either George or Ben. I guess now was as good a time as any to confront George about what I had found in the bathroom of the old place. I caught his eye across the room and indicated for him to follow me. We met in the kitchen.
"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked, putting a hand on my upper arm. I reached into the pocket of my oversized cardigan and whipped out the condom wrapper that I had found. I held it up to George and he chuckled, blushing.
"It's a little late for that, isn't it?" he remarked.
"I found it," I supplied.
"Gross."
"In the bathroom of our old apartment. So now I can't help but wonder… is it yours?"
"I don't know."
"Well, did you have one on your person when you came to the party? If so, why?"
"I can't remember. Probably not. It's not like I went to the party with the intention of seducing you."
"Are you sure about that? Because that seemed like your main goal back then."
"No it wasn't!"
"Sure, it wasn't like you were trying to crack onto me at every turn."
"I was just flirting, is all."
"Yeah, well that flirting turned into something else, didn't it?"
"I honestly don't think I would have brought one. If I did use one I would have gotten it from Paul's car, he has stacks in there."
"I just need to know," I insisted, "I just found out that John is out of the picture so now this will determine if it's you or Ben."
"Wait, what?"
"John just apologised to me and Kylie and told us that he never went that far when he assaulted us, so it can't be him."
"That git! All this time…"
"I know."
"Well, I wish I knew the answer, but that night is just as foggy as ever."

Suddenly the oven timer went off, making me jump, and Jenny came rushing into the kitchen. I quickly stuffed the condom wrapper back in my pocket.
"Oh!" she exclaimed when she saw us, "What are you two doing in here? Actually, do I want to know the answer to that?"
"Jen!" I exclaimed.
"I would never defile her like that," said George, hand on his heart.
"Sure, George," Jenny remarked, opening the oven and retrieving the mouthwatering roast lamb.

I ended up helping Jenny serve dinner. She called everyone to the table and we all sat down and dug in. I sat next to Ben, something that very rarely happened. I felt like today we had finally started mending bridges, which made me unbelievably happy, the happiest I had been in a long time. Just when I thought things were irreparable between us, he had shown me a sign. Peter, seated across from us, made a happily shocked face at me. This was good news for the rest of the house as well since they had to live between the hostility. At one point Ben and I looked at each other and smiled. My heart leapt. Then he shoveled some potato, my favourite vegetable, off his plate and onto mine. It was the little things, they were all adding up. We hadn't had a proper deep conversation yet but he was doing things like that and feeling the baby.

After dinner, the table was cleared and Jenny brought out a chocolate cake covered in icing and we all sang happy birthday to Ben (the 'birthday' part of the song was replaced with a hastily-sung 'aging-up-day'). Whilst we ate the cake, the boys whipped out presents. Ringo and George had gotten him a joint gift, and there was one that Paul had left for him.
"Well, I've already given you your present," John said after Ben had opened the other gifts.
"What do you mean?" Ben asked.
"Sophie, do you want to tell him?"
Oh no. I wasn't ready to tell the rest of the family what John had revealed. Put on the spot, I looked around at the family with expectant looks on their faces. If I told Ben, he would automatically assume that he was the father, which is what John was inferring with his 'gift'.
"I don't think that sort of conversation is appropriate at the moment," I told John, scrambling for a way to get out of it.
"Oh come on, it's good news."
"Did you pick today specifically to do this?" I shot back at him, eyes narrowed. "It seems awfully convenient."
"What are we talking about?" Jenny asked, looking between John and I.
"I just gave Sophie and Kylie some good news but it seems they are not as thrilled about it as they should be," John answered.
Sick of his riddling, I blurted out, "John's not the father."
There was a silence before Adam asked, "For both of you?"
I nodded and looked down at my plate, steadfastly avoiding eye contact with Ben beside me.
"Why is everyone so gloomy?" John scoffed. "This is good news! Ben, now you know that you're going to be a dad."
You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Most of us knew that this was not a certainty – poor Ben was none the wiser.

Ben shocked me with what he said next.
"Yeah, I guess it is good news," he finally spoke; I could hear the faintest hint of glee in his voice and I stole a glance at him on my right. He smiled the smallest smile at me and placed his hand on my leg. At that moment a wave of nausea rushed over me. It was guilt. I stood up and hastily excused myself from the table and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom where I expelled roast lamb and chocolate cake into the toilet. I spent a considerable amount of time in there before returning to the dining room. Composing myself, I stepped into the room.
"Sophie, are you okay?" Jenny asked.
"I'm fine," I replied.
"I thought your morning sickness was over," Brian commented.
"Yeah, uh, it must've been something I ate that didn't agree with me."
I received pitiful looks from Peter and Kylie. No doubt I would be having a debriefing with them later on. They knew that my sudden bout of sickness was due to shame and guilt. Ben seemed glad to know that he was the father of my baby; little did he know, he might not be. It was going to hurt big time when he found out the truth.
I could never let that happen.