Something You've Read Before

Chapter Thirty Five

The Basics of Friendship

The skies went dark all of a sudden and not long after the rain started pouring. Sumire watched the droplets getting heavier from the newly cleaned Student Council office window. Sumire enjoyed to see the fog forming on the glass, running her finger to the window to doodle something until she heard the creaking of Hotaru's chair. Rains during winter were short and uneventful but today just seemed to really match the mood of the school of being glum. Well, nothing remotely interesting happened to the academy for weeks now. Despite opening the lights in the hallways and classrooms, the school still looked gloomy. Sumire concluded that natural light had a knack of making spaces come to life by shedding its illumination up to the farthest corner. Her attention turned to Hotaru Imai whose watching a documentary on Netflix as the Movie Club asked her to review it as reference. Biting her lip and thinking of the right timing, Sumire waited for Hotaru to at least turn to her side so it would not be too awkward when she talked first.

Initiating a conversation was not a hard feat for Sumire because she was born to express her ideas and opinion no matter how relevant or irrelevant on some matters. She was extra hyper in talking when the topic enticed her like school trips, fashion, and the latest rumors circulating in the school and even what concerned the nation. What she was about to ask was yet to be rumored but she predicted it might soon because if she began noticing it, others would as well. Still, Hotaru's eyes were glued on the laptop screen while her hands were writing robotically on the notepad. Sumire walked passed by her original seat but and passing behind Hotaru again, claiming the empty seat beside her.

Finally, Hotaru took a glance of her, closing the application and the laptop as well to spare her full, undivided attention. Being the master of deciphering the meaning of small movements through years of practice via observation, Hotaru knew that Sumire had something to say as early as they were both left alone in the office. She just figured out that if it was so important then Sumire would ask away but several minutes passed and she was still getting her timing so it must be something hard to bring up. Hotaru had the courtesy of giving Sumire an opening but she also commended Sumire's ability of approaching people and distract them from their original work.

"Hey, Hotaru. Can I talk you about something?"

Hotaru rested her elbows on the table, tapping each fingers of the hand with the other. "This is rare," she expressed in a rather stunned tone.

"It's about Mikan," said Sumire as she saw Hotaru relaxed on her chair. "Do you think she's fine? I mean, yeah, on the outside she's good, healthy, and all but why do I sense something wrong? Something doesn't quite fit."

Gaining Sumire as a friend only brought wonders to Mikan and for that Hotaru was thankful. The girl might be loud but was always very helpful and her sincerity as a friend was never fading. Sumire could be easily depended on and she was like that only to her closest friends. Concern easily escaped Sumire's facial features, her eyes going from left to right, blinking a little excessively while her hand clenched and unclenched from time to time. About Mikan, something was definitely wrong and Sumire was good to bring that up to Hotaru. Ever since that escapade in the countryside, Mikan had not shown any signs of sadness or lost while Natsume acted a little distant. Honestly, the gang did not know what to make from their actions. The two would talk with smiles on their faces but only for a short while because they rather bond with their respective friends than to be left alone together. The strict seating arrangement during lunch was also gone and they did not look like they were comfortable sitting in front of one another.

Mikan managed to tell bits of stories about the visit. For instance, she happily narrated how mesmerizing the view was during the road trip, also expressed her admiration on the interior of the Igarashi's main house. When one of them would ask what deals they made with Kaoru there, they simply answered that both parties benefitted. Obviously, Alice Academy was once again at peace, no more mingling from The Board and unnecessary issues. Hotaru asked Mikan once how was it for her family and Mikan replied that Youichi was safe for now but this had been a real eye-opener that they needed to improve their livelihood and their family before everything was too late. Izumi managed to bag the contract with Hinami Nogi and Mr. Narumi was not facing a potential danger in his employment right now and was rumored to be promoted as assistant principal as recommended by the Ex-principal Yukihara.

In summary, Mikan was doing really good in eradicating her problems one by one, problems caused by one woman. So, it was safe to say that she really made amends with Kaoru Hyuuga. The question was to what expense. Hotaru liked to praise Mikan for avoiding the topic until now when it had been more than two weeks since it happened. Although, changes could only be ignored long enough until somebody who actually cared notice it and this time it was Sumire. Hotaru displayed a determined expression. Someone, probably a brunette, would be confronted one of these days and Hotaru wanted to make sure that answers would be given when she ask the questions.

"You're right."

Sumire blinked out of confusion since Hotaru took time in replying. "About what?"

"Something's wrong but she she's not telling it yet," Hotaru clarified, "Maybe on the right time."

"Do you have an idea what's it about?"

"Yeah, but I want it to come from her," Hotaru said in a tone of less interest, "Done with the year-end reports?"

In the end, what only Sumire confirmed that she was not the only worrying about Mikan and opening about it to Hotaru meant the truth would be revealed soon. The atmosphere lightened up when Hotaru mentioned about the year-end report. Talking about work was less stressful than talking about the personal struggles of their friends. A proud expression made way to Sumire's face and went back to her computer to resume her work.

"Close to it. I may submit it earlier than the deadline."

Hotaru nodded as she scanned her review draft and decided to get back on the documentary. "Good. I like how efficient we are this year compared last year."


"So, you broke up?"

Boys were always straightforward especially to their best pals and when it came to verbalizing their tribulations in life. Natsume narrated almost everything that happened that weekend to Ruka, only leaving the intimate parts. They talked about it over two cans of coffee and melon bread. A distinct sadness in the way Natsume told the story to Ruka reflected how he also looked at that very moment, lost and somewhat reserved. Natsume knew he needed time to slowly accept this change in his life and he was not going to be better anytime sooner. Suddenly, the melon bread tasted stale for Ruka and he was no longer interested in consuming the coffee no matter how inviting the weather was. The mood of their conversation affected Ruka's hunger for a good afternoon snack.

"We did," Natsume let out and when he looked up to see Ruka's face, he frowned while asking, "What's with your face?"

Ruka's face looked incredulous, his heart hurting for his best friend. His jaw dropped putting his lips in a convoluted position while his eyes narrowed intently that the shock on his face was apparent in one look. Since his parents' divorce, all Natsume wanted was to receive attention and real love and finally he got that only to be taken away again. Ruka felt the annoyance coming from Natsume as his expression right now looked ridiculous if not. He took a bite on the melon bread, not wanting to waste the food in the end, and talked while chewing. Ruka found it hard to describe his disappointment and sadness accurately so with his multiple exhalations and a big frown, he said what he could.

"If there is one relationship in our circle that I would support until the end, it would be you and Mikan's. So, can you imagine how devastated I am for you right now?!"

This was his best friend's shot to happiness because this was the kind of love born from friendship. Ruka rejoiced on the inside every time Natsume talked about his feelings, clearly devoted to Mikan and without a doubt, whipped even if he denied it. But, when he looked back, the thing was Natsume never denied anything, not even being whipped which made him more whipped than Ruka estimated. When it came to love, nothing was equal. Ruka saw this as a case of Natsume giving Mikan what she wanted because he loved her more. Not that Ruka resented Mikan for it because he too was more of the giver in his relationship with Hotaru but he just hated that those vile adults got what they wanted again. Those elders were the prime example of what not to be when growing up.

"The decision was mutual. We both decided that this is more beneficial for everybody."

Ruka was almost speechless, running through his mind the inclusion of 'everybody' Natsume mentioned. "Why think about us?" Ruka fired. They were more than capable of saving themselves and he doubted that Kaoru could actually hurt them.

Natsume groaned, hating that Ruka did not get what he meant immediately. "Not just you. It's the school, the innocent students, the principal. Her family."

"Ah, yeah, it gets complicated when the families start getting involved." Ruka did not know why this was making his head ache.

"I don't want her to regret being with me so might as well end it while we're happy."

Ruka knew very well about Natsume's worry of finding a girl that his mother wouldn't approve of. They both knew this was a long and hard journey because going against your family was the hardest fight out there but Natsume chose to take it on, only to surrender at the end. Being a witness of it all, the spectator of every struggle, made Ruka feel worse than an ordinary best friend. Though, Ruka admired his best friend's long term plan. There was indeed a benefit, the cost was just great. The only thing left was to make it work so that their sacrifices would mean something.

"You know what, Nat? You are the only person who can do that. That tells how much you love her."

Natsume was never the type to quantify his love for Mikan but right now as the realization fell to him, he was also astonished at himself for giving so much with only her words serving as proof that she would come back. "Don't tell them yet? Just let them notice?" he requested.

Ruka did not even hesitate and nodded in agreement "Of course. If that's what you want."

"I want to save the friendship."

Upon that declaration, Ruka quickly stated his opposition. His face conveyed disbelief for a moment, wanting to induce some reality to Natsume who seemed to be so enamored with the fairytale portion of being in love and breaking up amicably. Ruka was shaking his head with clenched fists. "I don't think that's possible. You can't be just friends with someone you're in love with. Your every action will be laced with what you feel and I supposed Mikan will do just the same because you cannot just keep it all in especially when it's already out there. Then, sooner or later you will want to be together again then have this Aunt Kaoru problem again."

Natsume only remained quiet, staring at the outside as if thinking about Ruka's words but then he glanced back to him with a determined look. "Even so, I still want to save the friendship."

Ruka sighed, running his hand through his hair to vent out frustration. "Man, you are so admirable. And what's more terrifying is that knowing you, you can do it. But, can you imagine when she starts dating somebody, you are in for the most painful trip of your life."

"Don't say that again," Natsume said out of aggravation.

"Will you act jealous then? Will you stop her? And, what about you when you want to date other women?"

Natsume simply chuckled. "I'm sure that I only want to be with Mikan."

The genuineness silenced Ruka, pinning him down to his seat, feeling a little breathless from the rant he made earlier. He kept on nodding as if that was a way to understand Natume a little more but really there was no need because he believed on Natsume and his abilities. "Glad to see that you are still the same about things, Natsume. You've always known what you want when it comes to Mikan."

Natsume felt glad that he earned the support of his best friend. Although, that did not stray his thoughts on the realism Ruka laid out about him and Mikan dating somebody else. Being free from commitment meant that they were allowed to do things that single people did like eating out and going to the movies without the accompaniment of your once significant other. This was the time Natsume listed on his mind the expectations he had now that he and Mikan were no longer a couple. Would he be able to show his jealous side or hide it when someone approached Mikan? Did he have the right to be angry over it? He trusted Mikan's love for him but he did not trust other people. Natsume was sure that somebody out there had placed interest on her one way or another.

The worries induced a mild headache to Natsume. He needed to talk to Mikan about this which should be easier if Mikan had not been so wary of him in the past days. Sure, they talked and texted like before, similar to when they were still on the friendship stage but he noticed the stepdown of closeness. Going back to what they were before was a hard adjustment but Natsume was willing to amend if that meant saving the friendship. They were just finding their footing again. Beginning proved to be the hardest in every journey after all.

A click on the door was heard which revealed Hotaru carrying all the finished reports. One look at Ruka and he directly knew what her purpose was so he asked him to take the free seat beside him so they could countercheck together. Hotaru barely said anything ever since her entrance and even if she was glad to see Ruka after a long day, her mind was rather engrossed with Natsume's movements. She tried studying his nonverbal cues, hoping to get an idea to support the theory in her head.

Natsume lifted a hand and said, "Hi, Imai."

"Hi," she replied.

Natsume stood up, preparing for his departure the moment Hotaru settled in. "See you later, Ruka."

Ruka waved his goodbyes while Hotaru watched Natsume's back until he completely disappeared from their sight. Hotaru heard Ruka's primary comments about the reports, some of them expected and some of them were errors she missed during the deliberation with Sumire. She gave a deadline to herself to finish everything by tomorrow and said that it was a good thing that she submitted three days earlier than expected.

"What are you two talking about?" Hotaru asked all of a sudden.

Ruka's eyes narrowed in surprise. "You never ask about our conversations. This is a first."

Hotaru rolled her eyes. True that it was unlikely of her to be nosy about boy talk but she felt that it was essential to know at least the subject of their serious talk. "Because I know it's about his relationship with Mikan," she explained. Hotaru was one girl hard to please but she must applaud that Natsume and Ruka never talked about nonsense things when they were together.

The promise Ruka made with Natsume earlier set the path of his answer to Hotaru. Even if she was the girlfriend, he still aimed to keep his word. "Is Mikan telling you anything?" Ruka asked instead.

Ruka's avoidance confirmed that Natsume indeed opened up about Mikan and it was a sensitive topic that he himself could not tell it to Hotaru right away. Hotaru respected that but honestly she was getting impatient with Mikan's act of keeping it all to herself again. A trait that Hotaru hated about her best friend and would not seem to go away anytime soon.

"Not yet but soon, I know. It might happen later this afternoon when I ambush her."

Ruka smiled, failing to stop himself from touching Hotaru's hair and running a finger to her face. "Well, that's more like you. And since I idolize and adore you, I am asking you to dinner on Friday."

Hotaru scoffed with how Ruka managed to asked her on a date in such a random moment. "You're getting good at this."

Upon wrapping things up with Ruka about council duties, Hotaru set sail to find her best friend and finally get some answers. Waiting game was finished. It was time to directly ask Mikan for clarification and hopefully to make her feel better during the process. Whatever it was, Hotaru was sure that Mikan needed a friend now more than ever. Hotaru purposely did not text Mikan that she wanted to meet up and instead searched for her in the classroom, library, the school grounds, even in the parking lot until she found Mikan in the study hall busy with sorting envelopes and pasting names on it.

Hotaru put her bag on the desk rather loudly to get Mikan's attention which was only a half success because the brunette looked up shortly to say hi then went back to her work. Still, Hotaru decided to be stubborn and did not take a seat, remained standing so she could get another reaction from Mikan. She faked a cough, tapped her fingers on the table all the while staring at Mikan.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Mikan asked, touching her face and checking the mirror to confirm.

"What's up?" Hotaru finally asked and sat on the chair parallel to Mikan.

"Dad has assigned me to hand out the invitations to his wedding and I am sorting out the houses near each other so my trip would be worth it."

Hotaru pretended to be interested. "I'm bringing Ruka to the wedding."

Mikan smiled while glancing at her. "That's like automatic."

"Are you bringing Natsume?"

Mikan was scribbling the names of Narumi's close relatives when the question echoed in her ears. She managed to smile all too well but failed to look Hotaru in the eye. Mikan knew she was busted at that moment but hoped it slipped Hotaru's keen eye. She tried using her nice girl voice, acting as if the mention of Natsume's name did not tickle her feelings in its tiniest form.

"Well, Dad is fond of him so he is definitely invited."

Study halls were designed for any student activity academic or non but it got barely chosen as a hangout area because there was no WiFi, no air-conditioning just the trusty open air for ventilation but the white walls helped in concentration and the hugeness of the perimeter guaranteed seats to students. Mikan had the study hall third on her list of favorite Alice Academy hangouts and when she wanted to finish a job requiring a table and space, study hall was her go to place. Currently, the study hall's plus point of being a wide space was not working as it felt stuffy upon the look Hotaru gave her as soon as she drawled out the words. Mikan tried to avoid Hotaru's gaze by looking left and right then to her work but it did not succeed this time.

"I am expecting a yes or a short no," Hotaru said, slightly annoyed by the dodging, "Mikan, what happened when you met Kaoru Hyuuga?"

If Mikan was about to recount everything that happened including what caused them to be there that weekend then it would surely take a long time and she did not want to relive hurting her heart all over again when there was a choice not to. Mikan was aware that she had been evading for this to happen, for Hotaru to confront her because she was afraid to be scolded. Hotaru would definitely understand but she had the tendency to say things that might dismiss the value of Mikan's original decision.

"We sorted things out," Mikan replied.

Hotaru rolled her eyes, hitting the table lightly with her clenched fist. "Tell me. I want to know because I'm worried."

"But, I'm fine," Mikan said, huffing.

"You're not. I am not stupid not to notice it, even Sumire notices it."

Mikan crossed her arms, completely disregarding the invitations. "Notice what, Hotaru?" she asked proudly.

"What happened when you met Kaoru Hyuuga?" Hotaru asked in a tone with obvious concern.

As Hotaru stared at her best friend now, she wondered what was so hard to say. Mikan became quiet, looking as if she was about to say anytime sooner but stopped herself at the last moment. For years, it was Hotaru's dilemma to get Mikan talking easily. The brunette had always times like this when she was ready to say it but backing out at the last moment. Hotaru knew when to give Mikan enough time to gather her thoughts and nurse her feelings but Hotaru also knew when enough was enough.

Mikan gritted her teeth, her emotions getting the best of her. "We went there knowing what will happen. We accomplished in getting what we want and by that I meant both parties."

Hotaru shook her head in disbelief, saying, "Don't tell me you broke up."

"Hotaru, it's the only way," Mikan defended, "Believe me. Based on what we can do as teenagers to avoid involving more people, it's the best that we can do. I have to save my family. I have to save my friends, this school. I have to stop this. I don't want the time to come when I will fully regret my decision because I hurt the people I love."

"I am not judging you. I just want you to tell me things," Hotaru explained in a gentle manner, noting that Mikaw was trying to refrain from crying but obviously failing at it, "Mikan, I hate it when you act okay when you are not and then you don't tell me anything. It makes me feel like you don't trust me enough to share your burdens."

"I'm just mustering up my courage," Mikan muttered as she looked down, sniffing.

Hotaru understood but a person could never be ready until he took action on it. Courage had always been there but what was the use if you let fear of judgment get you every time only to know in the end that you won't be judged anyway. "You went there almost a month ago," Hotaru said to emphasize that she too waited.

Mikan seemed surprise by that fact, coming in full circle that it was how long she tried suppressing her sadness. "I didn't even notice."

Mikan cried the moment she said that which confused Hotaru a little because the brunette looked like she was crying for the first time with Mikan's tears heavy, nose easily turning red, and the desperation in her wails. Hotaru offered tissues to Mikan who buried her face to her hands, moaning in pain which rooted from the depths of her heart. Mikan had waterfalls in her eyes, looking miserable with her eyes puffy and nose so red that was impossible to be covered by make-up. The study hall heard her groans and screeches in echo but fortunately the few students present couldn't care less.

"Aren't you done crying about it? Why are you crying now?"

Mikan gripped her blouse just where her heart was. "I've been trying my best… not to cry in front of him." Then, she cried even more, thinking about the many time she stopped her tears from falling so that Natsume would view her strength. When Mikan all wanted to do was cry, she smiled just to hide the pain. She wanted to cry when she woke up that day when they went to the Igarashi's main house, she wanted to cry when Ioran looked at them with sad eyes, she wanted to cry when they shared their last kisses, she wanted to cry when Natsume dropped her off her house. The last moments of them being together, expressing their loves put a toll on her.

Hotaru empathized with her, feeling a little dismal also especially after witnessing Mikan's emotional confession. This was the perfect moment to help Mikan in her breathing and made her feel lighter through the every so effective hug. Hotaru hugged her from the side, rubbing Mikan's shoulders and telling that everything would be okay from now on. She did not know if it was empty promises or a mere fact she was telling. What Hotaru had in mind was when things were low, there was no way to go but up. Plus, she made a friendly initiative of calling Yuu over just for Mikan to be in a more comfortable environment.

Yuu came into the scene, running and clearly uninformed the moment he saw the two on their most emotional phase. He was used to see a crying Mikan but not the kind of Hotaru Imai who was frowning and trying her best to console Mikan through therapeutic touch. He put down his things and approached them hoping to hear the truth.

"What's up with you girls?"

"Oh, Yuu," Mikan sniffed and opened her arms, "Can I hug you?"

"Of course you can," Yuu said as he hugged Mikan and looked at Hotaru for answers, "Something bad must have happened for you to cry like this."

Mikan cried even louder upon Yuu's observation, hiccupping when she tried to stop her tears but to no avail. She extended her one arm to accommodate Hotaru who looked at her with worry and the three friends hugged at the study hall. There were certain things that we could only express to specific people. For many instances in Mikan's life, she found it hard to narrate how deep her relationship was to Natsume to Narumi while she found it easy to show her affection to Natsume when she was with her friends. Today reminded Mikan that the nicest thing about having friends was that they might judge you for your decisions but they would still support you. Friends were just as understanding like a real family.

Even if Mikan's circle grew and she attained new friendships through Sumire for example, she still considered this small circle of she, Yuu, and Hotaru the rawest and most honest friendship she had. They had been with Mikan through her ups and downs and they managed to make her feel better every single time. To be able to keep this friendship from childhood was amazing in its own spectacles because people usually come and go, becoming only a part of good memories but not them, not this circle they formed in the most mundane way possible.

"You're right. It's so bad that my heart hurts so much."

"She and Natsume broke up," Hotaru revealed.

Yuu was rendered speechless for a moment, realizing how serious was the admission. He formed many questions in mind from the whys to the hows but knowing that the situation was less than favorable for the hot seat questions, Yuu opted to give his most assuring hug and pep talk. He knew that Mikan was the kind of person who never failed to be rational in things that mattered the most. Especially when it came to Natsume.

"I'm sure you did it for a reason. That's right, let it all out. You must be having a hard time keeping this all to yourself."

Study hall was for crying, too.


Sumire was eagerly finding the perfect timing to make her announcement while sitting in the middle chair of the long table of the Student Council office. It was not an official SC activity but the gang decided to gather on a place where they get their privacy without spending money. Different stories were being shared at the same time making the voices muffled in Sumire's ears. She did not understand a thing on what Anna tried to tell her about the sale at the end of the month of their favorite clothing store or was it the grocery store. The year was ending and what perfect way to celebrate it but be together on a very specific day. Calling the attention of everyone about her best idea on what they should do as a bonding opportunity since they rarely went out in groups, Sumire laid her suggestion with a full sinister smile.

"New Year's Eve. Everyone must come."

Koko was busy finishing the game on his phone, muttering, "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Sumire originally wanted to hit her boyfriend on the leg but decided to shut him down verbally. "Shut up, Koko. What could be more enjoyable than watching the fireworks and waiting for the sun to rise? Besides, it's Mikan's birthday."

Everyone gaped at Sumire then to Mikan and when Mikan became aware with the eyes, she immediately shook her hands and said, "Oh, but I don't celebrate it anymore."

Superficial explanations never worked on Sumire and Mikan was shut down as well. "Shut up, Mikan. Who doesn't want her birthday to be celebrated? Come on, it's going to be different this year. We're with you this time that's why."

The convincing powers of Sumire worked really well because suddenly Mikan had a different perception about her birthday. Mikan realized that Sumire had a point and must be sincere about celebrating her birthday to make her happy. "That's so sweet of you," she said, clearly touched.

"So, does everyone agree? Ruka? Hotaru? Okay. How about you Anna and Yuu?" Sumire was now busy getting their approval one by one, "Yura, are you in? Koko darling, of course you have no choice but to come. Mikan? Natsume?"

"I'll come," Natsume said, "This is the last year for the most of us so let's make it count."

Nonoko got emotional upon hearing that, stating, "Why is that making me sad?"

Natsume then smirked, "Also, I want to hear what our Class Valedictorian prepared for her graduation speech."

"No, don't involve me on this!" Yura complained.

"Oh, come on Yura, let us hear it!" Ruka jested.

Yura crossed her arms, face in crumpled due to disbelief. "Ugh, you guys are despicable."

It was the fastest decision they made as a group because not much violent reaction came into scene. Sumire was also surprised to hear no complaints especially from Hotaru whom she suspected would tag her idea as corny and cliché. Hotaru did not say anything but agreed through nodding and deciding for the time when they should meet. They also got home one by one, stating excitement about the upcoming plan. Ruka even made a Viber group so they could vote on what food to bring on that day and to decide on other preparations. Sumire was the happiest girl that afternoon, her smile wide like a child. Being extra cheerful to the point that even Koko noticed it and told her that she was quite cute earlier.

Sumire pinched her boyfriend's cheeks and invited him to go home but stop by the convenience store quickly to buy milk. Koko made a final check and closed the SC office's door before going back to Sumire who lost the wide smile she had earlier and instead now showing a bittersweet smile as she looked far away. Koko followed Sumire's gaze and found that she was quietly looking Mikan and Natsume again. Sumire did not know why but she felt happy to see her two friends together again, actually talking and interacting. Mikan and Natsume usually acknowledged each other through smile but nothing sensible happened after that.

"Can I walk you home?" Natsume asked, "What's with the look? We've been doing this even before."

Mikan had been trying to act natural ever since they were confined in that office but the awkwardness was hard to fight and she chose to listen to Ruka's stories just to avoid Natsume's intense gaze. But, one look and Mikan already knew that she had nowhere to go after the meeting ended. She did not even try to escape or run because crying the other day upped her maturity level a bit. Avoiding Natsume would not solve anything and it was simply impossible to act withdrawn from him forever.

"Won't Kaoru get the wrong idea? Just a glimpse of us together can insinuate anything on her mind."

Natsume gave out a boyish grin. "Don't worry. I have it all under control."

Mikan followed Natsume who began walking. The scene was so familiar that her question came out so casual. "Why? What did you do?"

"I agreed to study overseas so she won't be pestering me for a while."

Something stuck on her throat but it was just in her imagination. Nothing really was there except the little disappointment she felt. "Oh. I'm happy for you."

Natsume nodded, smiling at her response then walked ahead a little. He took time to pause and stared at her for good. "You know very well that I know when you are lying."

Mikan frowned and groaned, "Natsume." She stopped from walking, reluctant if this was still a good idea. Talking with him always brought out the hidden feelings she tried her best to keep.

They were standing at the main building's entrance with only few students left attending to their lockers and eventually saying goodbye to their classmates as well. Suddenly, Mikan's fear of having them seen alone together again vanished when she saw Natsume's change of expression. Once again he looked reliable in her eyes, like he had a plan he could not wait to execute and that he was repeating it to her in case she forgot. Mikan did not want to admit it because it sounded conceited but she liked that he was teasing her to ease the tension.

"Look, Mikan. I am only going there to take over the company and be with you."

Mikan put her head down for a second before hitting Natsume lightly on the chest. "At least let me pretend that my heart didn't flutter when I heard that."

Natsume stared at her with much care and affection. "You were never good in hiding it," he said as if reliving Mikan's tendency to be such an open book on his mind.

"Did your relationship with her improve even a little?" Mikan asked, looking up but her hand still on his chest.

Natsume met her eyes, thinking that Mikan was really not the type to harbor ill feelings. He traced her arm up until he reached her hand just resting above his top, carefully letting her delicate hand down and holding it momentarily, short enough for it not to look like he wanted to intertwined his fingers with hers.

"We're deciding on the school together," Natsume said casually.

Saying it so simply did not justify how complicated and gruesome the process was. Kaoru had her own set of schools, parading all of its advantages including the quality of life depending on the location while Natsume sat there doing his own research and asking some of his friends' opinion, stating his own reason why he did not like Kaoru's suggestions. They were not actually agreeing but that was a big leap because Kaoru could use her authority again and just force Natsume to wherever. They managed to narrow the list into three and now on the stage of weighing down which school was the best.

This was a plan finally in motion if you would ask what Mikan thought about it. Sure it seemed quick from the time they broke up to this day but the school year was ending so they had to hurry. The idea of Natsume leaving did hurt and it caused sadness to Mikan but when she thought about the bigger picture and the real purpose, her heart lightened up little by little. Smiling as she imagined what kind of discussion Natsume had with his mother , Mikan said, "That's really nice to hear."

"And that's your face when you are genuinely happy," Natsume noted, tapping Mikan's forehead and once again they were walking side by side, "What's up with you?"

It was such a broad question that Mikan did not know where to begin. She achieved milestones bit by bit but to say that there was this drastic change in her life was going farfetched. But Mikan was busy assisting Narumi, that took majority of her time, and she was also occupied with feeding her soul by bonding with her friends. Natsume might wanted to hear about Izumi and Youichi. Sadly, Mikan only knew that they were doing good and the project with Hinami already began so Izumi was rather busy going to and from the café site. Child Services threat was gone and it felt like it did not happen at all. What Mikan had were updates about her biological family but to say that their relationship moved to the next level was a lie. It was stagnant. Mikan did not want to tell such a pessimistic update to Natsume though so she chose the most exciting news so far.

"My Dad is getting married. Finally."

Natsume mostly expected to hear that. "Yeah, I received an invitation. As for my own father, he flew last week to find his purpose again."

Mikan smiled with the news. Ioran finally moved on from the past and the world waited for him. To acquire such privilege, Mikan envied him but kept in mind how much bravery it took for Ioran to finally make a decision. "I wish him good luck," said Mikan.

"I'll tell him that," Natsume said quietly, clearing his throat, "I told Aoi what happened to us and she just laughed at my face."

Mikan raised an eyebrow out of annoyance, picturing Aoi's reaction. "Well, that's insulting."

"It's the opposite. She said that we only did this to have a little freedom but sooner or later we'll get back together."

Natsume was smiling all throughout while saying that especially when the moment he informed Aoi of the breakup replayed on his mind. It was such a plain, fine day when Natsume received a call from Aoi asking him the common questions how he was and if he was busy on other affairs. Natsume got little annoyed that Aoi dilly dallied her way on asking him to see her when she could just ask straight away. Their relationship as siblings was not the most convenient at the moment but they were civil if it needed be. So, Aoi told him where to go, clearly deciding the place beforehand and Natsume gladly agreed with her terms. He figured out that this should not be a source of stress for the both of them and it was really fine, regarding the meeting place, so he went with peace and excitement on his part.

The expectation was not met. Natsume expected Aoi to be arrogant, to act like a bitch, to give him the lecture he heard a million times before but nothing of that sort happened. The restaurant was very much what Aoi usually dined in and when she came, Natsume was already waiting for ten minutes. She did not apologize for being late and instead ordered right away. Natsume told her about school, his plans for the future while Aoi simply nodded, not commenting much. In return, Aoi told him about her travels with her husband and how they were excited to finally start the family they dreamed of having. After catching up and finishing their full course meal and just when Natsume was about to ask her, Aoi simply let out the words from her mouth. That they would get back together. On what faith she had for her to say that, Natsume did not know. Maybe they just got Aoi's trust.

"I thought that not helping you is the best way I could do to help. If I join your team, Kaoru could do a lot worse."

Natsume grinned at the memory. He got preoccupied with that trip to memory lane for a little bit until he realized he was in daze and brought back his attention to Mikan who seemed to be far from amused.

"Yeah, let's not be so sure about that. Many things could happen."

The statement itself was worrying so Natsume wanted to clarify what it meant. "What do you mean by that, Polka?" he asked.

Mikan did not answer immediately, buying time by looking away. She did not want it to come from her but the idea floated in her mind ever since they came back to Tokyo. "I mean you might want to date other women."

"How about you? Do you want to date other men?" Natsume asked with his voice getting a little higher.

"No."

Natsume was hardly convinced. "Not at the moment no or flat no?"

"How about you?" Mikan retorted.

"Answer me first."

Maintaining friendship was already hard because people dissociated themselves when being separated by distance, time, career move, big life changes, and death. Remaining friends with your ex was extra hard work because it meant not mixing everything with affection. Platonic feelings did not just come back when you needed it to. It never worked that way and Mikan struggling with this was not uncommon. She told herself at first that it would be alright, that she could do anything she put her mind into but several factors affected her way of interacting with Natsume. Plus, the pressure to keep her word of staying friends with him was drilling her mind. Mikan liked to think that this was a given, a sure thing to happen but given time, she sure she would manage it.

"This is not a healthy conversation. We must be free to act on what we feel. I won't hold it against you if ever you like somebody else."

Natsume hated the way she sounded so giving and giving up. He held her wrist and asked her to look him in the eye. "Well, I will. I'll hold it against me. I don't want anyone but you."

Mikan wanted to slap herself for being so cruel to Natsume especially after hearing that. She took a moment to think about her next words, hoping to find a little light from this sour conversation. She did not mean to spoil their mini reunion but things had to be discussed. "Being friends after being a couple is really hard. Things won't be the same."

When opportunities were about to end, one must make a way to finish it with flying colors. Natsume knew that only two blocks and his time with Mikan would come to a halt so he had to end this in a good note. He had this same topic discussed with Ruka and he was clear on his answer every time but Mikan being the kind and overthinker girl she was, did not want to be a hindrance in case he found another one to date. Why did this question keep on surfacing when they just broke up a month ago? Wasn't it too early to think of problems like this? Natsume tried to understand Mikan, tried to trace where she was coming from and it calmed him a bit. It calmed him because a part of him understood her insecurities and challenges because that was how he felt too.

"We shouldn't force ourselves to be like what we were before. We are changed people. We can be friends in a different way but we can always go back to the basics. Friends tell each other their problems."

Mikan's features softened a bit, thankful that a simple thing like that which had the tendency to be forgotten easily was reminded to her in such crucial timing. She was not blind in Natsume's efforts in making this work and she hated to think that every effort so far had only been one way. Mikan discerned that Natsume was the one who gave more in their relationship and this shouldn't be the case in their friendship. She did not want Natsume to be exhausted because of her and one day realized that she was not worth all the trouble. The basics of friendship. Right. Anyone could do that. Average people formed friendships as easy as choosing what to eat for breakfast and the lifelong effort of keeping depended on how much you valued the friendship.

"Friends hang out when the idea pops in their mind," Mikan replied and on her mind was lunching out at Glassroots or choosing to eat cafeteria food.

Natsume smiled and rode the idea. "Friends help each other in school."

"They dance with you on a school dance when nobody else wants to dance with you."

"Friends either say sorry directly or apologize in a different way."

Mikan chuckled at the memory. "Like bringing you your favorite food and making you solve a puzzle just to see the word sorry."

Natsume put his head down a little and said in a quiet voice, "Friends are annoying."

"Yeah. They even comment how much food you ate when you're not even full."

"They also get competitive during school events."

Mikan crinkled her nose because it described Shirahama perfectly. "But gives you a bottle of water when you're parched."

"This is you," Natsume announced.

Mikan glanced at her house, smiling at Natsume. "Thanks for walking me home." Time was up. They really reached the stop.

Natsume shook his head. "Thanks for letting me." And the words held more meaning than it was supposed to.

End of Chapter


I did not expect to tell you this but the end is near. God, I'm getting emotional about this. I hope you are all doing fine, practicing safety precautions in this time of pandemic. I wanted to tell you how nervous I was to read your reaction from the last chapter because I really thought that most of you will be disappointed but I am glad that nothing of that sort reached my inbox. Thank you for sticking to this story no matter how predictable. I specifically told you guys when I came back to writing last year that a lot of things happened to me in the three years where I was inactive, lots of challenges and lessons learned. Coming back to FFN also taught me a great deal about making other people happy by sharing your ideas and you guys made me realized that all over the world, someone out there is being relieved by reading this story.

Again, thank you!