Hello!

I'm so sorry I totally let this story go. Well, recently, I've done a total rewrite and completely started anew. But this, I think, is better. I was really just looking for fluff in my last one, but this one does have a plot to it! This is unedited, but I did want to post it, so excuse any mistakes.

Please let me know what you think!

-Pounce


Kalasin watched Kaddar from the other side of the room. Her eyes were narrowed at the man. He was gesturing wildly while ranting to Numair. Kally sighed, wishing she knew her betrothed better. In the past year, she has learned everything Kaddar's mother Fazia could possibly teach her. Her use of the Carthaki language was perfected, her knowledge of customs impeccable, and her understanding of the court was second only to her mother-in-law and fiance. It was cool outside, the autumn air in Carthak a welcome change after the heat of the summer. Kally was sitting at one of the small alcove tables in the ballroom, needed a moment to rest her feet. This was her party, the first one in a long succession. She had planned it to perfection, as it welcomed the Tortallian delegation that had arrived earlier that day. They were here to attend her wedding in two weeks.

A nearby servant passed and Kalasin requested that he bring some water with lemon, a drink that she had developed quite the taste for while living in her new country. She was quickly presented with it. She kept her eyes on the party. Daine was in deep conversation with Alana. Sir Raoul and Buri were sitting in an alcove opposite her having an intimate conversation. Just one of the few developments Kalasin had not seen happen in the last year. Finally, there was Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan and her parents. They were mingling among the Carthaki nobles, with a handful of other Tortallians from the delegation. Kally knew that in two days, more representatives would arrive, including Queen Dove's people, the Yamani representatives, and other royals.

Kalasin knew that her marriage was a major step to heal the rift between Kaddar's country and her own. But the idea of living in a new place scared her and so did the responsibility of being a monarch. How was she supposed to rule a group of people she was married into and not born into? And she didn't know how the dynamic of the marriage would be, given that her parents had married for love and her grandparents had died before they met her. Emperor Orzone didn't marry and Carthaki customs were quite different from Northern ones. Kally watched Kaddar and wondered, with a pang whether he would take a lover.

She hadn't wanted to allow Kaddar to get to her, but she hadn't been able to stop her natural attraction to him. They did not know each other well, given that he had an empire to rule and she had to learn about ruling that empire. In fact, each of them had cherished their freedom, while it lasted, before the burden of kids and rule. Kalasin didn't even know if Kaddar had had someone to keep his bed warm during that time - she certainly hadn't. Now she watched him and he danced with one of the many young nobles. She was bejeweled and graceful. Kalasin thought back to all of her encounters with Kaddar. He was smooth, gentlemanly, and infinitely handsome. He had smooth, chocolate colored skin and dark black hair. His gaze was warm and enchanting. Kalasin remembered herself hoping that one day, she would learn how much of it was the fake politician and how much of it was genuine.

Kaddar was certainly an attractive man, and everyone knew it. Kally had definitely not been immune to his charm and was even jealous now as he danced with another woman. She knew that if she asked for a dance, there would be no hesitation on his part, but she did not want to have to ask for a dance from her future husband. He should want to dance with me, she thought. She tried to push the worry away, the fears of a loveless marriage, of competition with another woman, of childbearing, of not getting along with him, of failing her parents and her people, of failing as empress. But the more she tried to push it away, the more she realized she couldn't.

Reality was crashing upon Kalasin and she was having difficulty breathing. Her eyes stung. It was all so clear now. Her friends and family were here to see her wedding. After all those years of planning and negotiation and broken dreams, she was finally at the end of the tunnel. At seventeen, she was three years Kaddar's junior and they were about to say their vows. The tight Carthaki corset squeezed Kalasin's ribs and she wondered, not for the first time, how much longer she would need to stay in public. She knew that she would soon need to emerge from her alcove, as people would wonder where she went. It was just so rare to get a moment alone. Now that she had it though, Kally was alone with her fears, and that was even worse than watching Kaddar dance with other women.

Forcing herself to leave the alcove, she decided to join the conversation with Daine and the Lioness. As she walked up, their conversation stopped and they looked guilty at her. 'My dear aunts, what are you talking about?' Kally asked graciously. Tonight she was dressed in a sort of mix of Tortallian and Carthaki fashion, a look that was now selling across the country. 'Sorry, Kally, mission work,' the Lioness looked sad while Daine looked guiltily at the floor. Once more, Kally was reminded of her isolation from Tortall and the changes that had occurred. No longer would she be told secrets of her own country. They quickly changed the conversation and began to thank her for the lavish party. 'It was my pleasure, I'm glad it has gone so well,' the empress-to-be said graciously.

Despite everything, the ball was winding down. Food and drink had been consumed aplenty, though no alcohol for Kalasin. She detested the way it altered her mind and her Gift. Several prominent court members were retiring for the evening, which meant Kalasin could almost do the same. Instead she walked in circles around the courtroom, saying a formal goodnight to the Carthaki court members and both greeting and catching up with her Tortallian delegation. Her younger sister, princess Liane would be arriving soon, as she was delayed due to seasickness keeping her in bed for the ball. It was another fact of the new customs that Kalasin had not yet seen her sister. So much had changed in the last year.

She welcomed Raoul and Buri as her aunt and uncle. She introduced herself to Sir Merric and sir Owen, new knights. To Sir Gareth, she bid a warm hello. To Numair she said, 'I'm glad you are here, I think it is good for the empire to see old grudges forgiven.' Finally, she introduced herself to the Mindelan family. Of course, each one had been announced as they entered, however, she had not personally met all of the members of the delegation. She held her hand out to Keladry's father and he kissed it and they each bowed. Kalasin smiled at them and welcomed them to her home.

It was barely fair to call it her home in fact, as she had moved in only a week ago into very large and lonely chambers. Before long, she would be moving into Kaddar's rooms. Keladry surprised her by asking, 'I usually do a morning practice with my glaive. Is there anywhere specific I should do this?' Kalasin smiled, it was brave to ask her something outright like that, Kally knew herself to sometimes be quite an imposing figure. She explained the training area the delegation had to practice, having personally ensured that the delegation would have all they needed to be comfortable, including a training area. It was all practice for the job as woman of the household. Only, her household was the palace, and by extension the whole kingdom. She had to ensure visitors were happy.

She had finally reached Kaddar in his circulation. He was sitting at a circular table to the side of the main floor. He was with Kitten, the dragon. Kalasin murmured a thankful prayer that she could talk to him with Kitten there, making it less awkward. Things seemed to be so awkward these days with the big day approaching. Kalasin didn't totally understand why, whether she was projecting her own fear or whether he was upset to leave single life behind, or what was happening. But Kally was trying very hard to keep it together.

'Hello, Kitten,' she said sliding into the conversation. Kitten chirped, making the large ruby ring on Kalasin's left hand blaze. Kaddar smiled at Kalasin from across the table and she blushed, cursing herself for not being able to remain calm. His attractive gaze was too much, so she looked at the floor, the table and Kitten. She looked everywhere but him. 'I missed you, too, Kit,' Kally confessed quietly to the dragon after a sad little whistle. Kitten allowed Kally to pet her from nose to tail. Kaddar looked on and said, 'I think the night was a success. Congratulations.' Kalasin smiled slightly, 'Thank you. I'm glad nothing ruined it.'

She surveyed her betrothed from across the small dragon. He was quite handsome tonight, in white clothing with heaps of jewels. He also had gold sandals on and his eyes were painted with kohl. Part of Kally's mind wondered if a maid helped him take it off at night or whether he did it himself. She was wearing blue, meant to compliment her eyes. Suddenly, Kitten withdrew a small rock from her pocket and extended it to Kalasin. Kally's heart broke, as it reminded her of her childhood. Kitten used to find the prettiest rocks, then bring them to Kally, who would channel part of her gift into it for Kitten to play with. It was a way for them to practice and better understand their childhood magic.

For old times sake, Kally summoned up a flame of dark blue magic and let it trickle into the rock before giving it back to the dragon. Heart cracking, she handed it back. Her eyes felt hot, so she blinked several times. Kaddar has the decency not to say anything about the whole exchange. 'My lord,' Kalasin started, 'I think I will retire now. It has been a long day for me.' Kaddar nodded and offered, 'Allow me to escort you to your rooms.' Kalasin nodded, 'Please, my lord.' So together, they set off, arm-in-arm for her room. They were silent and the poisonous fears of earlier were returning to Kalasin, without the chatter of the ballroom to distract her.

"Kalasin, are you well? You look rather pale,' her husband-to-be asked when they arrived at their door. She nodded, then bit her lip, a habit Fazia had been unable to cure her of. 'I'm well, my lord. Nervous about-.' She was cut off as a runner approached them, bowing low. 'A message for His Majesty Emperor Kaddar.' Kaddar nodded, 'Go on.' The boy looked at Kally hesitating. Kaddar must have understood something the boy was trying to convey, because he turned to her. 'Kalasin, please excuse me, an emergency has come up.' Kalasin gulped but her throat was dry. She nodded and choked out an of course. She unlocked her door and slipped inside.

As soon as the door was closed, she slid down against it, breathing quickly and shallowly. Was that a message from his mistress? She knew she shouldn't have such thoughts, but he was under no obligation by Carthaki customs to remain loyal to her before marriage, or even after, depending on how good a wife she was. She couldn't imagine what else the message could be, as she was being brought up to speed on country secrets every day. The only plausible thing to hide was another woman.

Before Kalasin could stop them, tears were running down her cheeks. Perhaps it has been the stress of planning the evening, coupled with meeting everyone. Maybe it was the realization of the fact that she was grown up and the fact that she was about to be married. Maybe it was that Kaddar had just left as she was trying to open up to him, but Kally suddenly realized how alone she felt. Soon, the tear were accompanied by deep sobs and tremors of stressed that racked through her whole body.

After a little while, Kalasin forced her breathing to slow and allowed herself to calm down. She was still hiccuping, but she rang her bell for her lady-in-waiting. Lady Rose of Richcaffery had volunteered to come to Carthak with Kalasin. She was now her main lady in waiting, she had been on of the Queen's Ladies, and was trained to both protect Kalasin, be a lady of the court, and a companion all at once. She let herself in through a side door and saw the mess that her mistress was.

Slowly, she coaxed Kally into a night dress and removed her face paints. Kalasin then cleaned her teeth and face in a zombie-like fashion before falling into bed. Once under the covers Kalasin smiled, thanked Rose and began to drift off.