Dearest Mother,

I must apologize to you; in my last letter I sent to you, I mentioned that I might be returning home instead of remaining in Siam. However, my plans have changed.

It seems as though my heart belongs in Bangkok, even though I did not believe so a few short weeks ago. My heart remains with the children, with the wives, with the new king.

The previous king's death occurred last night, as I was by his bedside. He was not old; rather, he was spry for his age. But, I fear I was the cause of his ending. Mother, I think I broke his heart, and that is what killed him.

I had reason for quarrelling with him—although, honestly, quarrelling could be considered an understatement—but I did not despise him. I was furious, because he was so blinded by tradition. Mother, he was whipping a poor girl because she ran away with her lover. She had been a gift to him, but against her will.

In my anger, I said things I did not mean. I called him heartless and incapable of love. It was a foolish statement, one that was false. I fear he was in love. That he loved me.

There were all sorts of signs. He finally granted me a home, after many months of insistence on my part, and arguments between the both of us. When Sir Edward Ramsay visited—you remember him, surely—the king became jealous of him, insisting I spend my time with him. And, he gave me a ring as a present.

On his death bed, he told me to wear it always. I plan to do so.

I think I love him too, Mother.

We bickered constantly, but when we agreed, it was a glorious feeling. I felt at peace, Mother, a feeling I have not had since Tom died. He made me happy.

And yet, as he died, I knew I would love him forever, just as I love Tom even now. I feel as if my duty to him is keeping me here, preventing me from betraying the home of the man I love.

Also, King Chulalongkorn needs to be advised. Already, within a day, he is proving to be an excellent king. Perhaps even greater than his father. It will take some time to see for certain, but already, he possesses a wisdom the previous king did not have. It is admirable.

A change is coming to Siam, Mother. I can feel it in the air, in the children's laughter. I plan to be here when it happens.

Your loving daughter,

Anna