I'M BACK!

sorry for the long delay, but i got pre-occupied with a fair bit, but then again 2020 hasn't left me with much else to do other than work on my various projects and accounts, this one included! but i do have some good news from RL since last time i was here...

I GRADUATED! :D

You're looking at a bonafide certified Animator right now!... well not 'looking at' more like 'reading the text' of one but you get my meaning :P

So a lot of those animation projects have been taking up my time as i need to showcase more of my work in that field to get better employment, BUT inbetween those projects (or when i had a burnout) i still wrote for this and i came up with a pretty good plotline for this i think :)

Enjoy!


It had been a few weeks since the election.

All the ruffled feathers had been smoothed over and things had slowly resumed as normal, Buster had made several students part of his student government.

Adam assumed he'd be left out of it all things considered but was surprised when he was asked to be part of it.

''Me? Really?'' he asked when Buster approached him.

''Yeah, after all your work in the election I thought you'd be the perfect guy for the job'' he said.

''Aye but I didn't quite make the cut for most loyal employee did I?'' said Adam referring to his unfortunate work for Max.

Babs scoffed, ''you kiddin'? Ya nearly ran yourself into the ground with all that Deep Throat stuff, ya deserve this position''.

The position in question was pretty much the same as his campaign position, posters and the like, only now he was doing it on commission which suited him to a 'T'.

Unfortunately he still didn't quite know what a student government was meant to do, his position wasn't that of any major significance, he simply designed and created the posters for the school clubs and activity's that now fell under Buster's dominion.

As far as he understood anyway.

He didn't much care at any rate, all he knew was he had to draw and paint when asked and got a small amount of money from it, and that's all he needed to know to be satisfied.

There wasn't much after that, the whole student government thing faded into the background, other than a few odd posters here and there for various clubs.

Max never found that desk.

No-one ever told him.

Although Adam would tend to cover his mouth when the subject come up, to prevent the millionaire brat seeing him from grinning, something he couldn't help but do.

Other than that things seemed to slowly get back to normal.

Well normal by Acme Looniversity standards at any rate.

Adam found he often had to re-evaluate that word each day that went by.


Adam had grown fairly accustomed to life in Acme Acres, it was a fun existence if not for a few ups and downs.

He had been commissioned for a few posters as it went, nothing much more than odds and ends for various clubs but they were well received, he liked to think he had brought his own dynamic to it.

Or was he bringing a future dynamic to a past time?

He had thought about it a lot but each time he did he just ended up thinking of Michael J. Fox singing 'Go Johnny Go' so decided to just leave it.

One day at school during recess Adam happened to be on the swings with Calamity and Gogo.

Gogo had somehow inverted gravity and was swinging above them singing show tunes.

Adam kept his mouth shut deciding he'd get no-where by asking.

They were just enjoying themselves when Calamity stopped suddenly and pointed up to the school; Adam rammed his feet into the sand and stopped as well.

''what's up lad?'' he said, Calamity directed his gaze and they both saw a small crowd gathering by the steps leading into the back doorway, Buster was at the top with Babs speaking but they couldn't hear.

''Ey-up something's going down'' he noted, ''Wanna check it out?''

Calamity nodded, both got up off the swings and Adam figured he'd better ask Gogo and looked up to where he was swinging, ''Oi Gogo we're gonna-''

He stopped mid-sentence as he saw the swing seat, still hanging upside down towards the sky but now empty.

''Say bub''

Adam jumped and looked back down seeing the green bird in front of him, ''me's and the guy's are gonna check the hubbub, you's in?'' he said in a 1940's gangster accent, flipping a coin as he did so.

Adam blinked and thought for a moment, before grinning internally and putting his hands in his pockets,

''Yeah, that's sounds like a swell idea'' he said mimicking Gogo's accent choice, ''sounds like a mighty fine dandy's going down''.

Gogo grinned broadly and set off towards the crowd, Adam turned to Calamity who looked at him quizzically and pulled his hands out of his pockets so he could shrug lightly.

''sometimes you just gotta counter crazy with crazy'' he said simply, Calamity nodded and set off, Adam made to follow then looked down at his hands which he had in his pockets, realisation dawning on him.

''Wait a sec, I'm not wearing trousers'' he said, he paused for a few moments before shaking his head, ''sod it'' he muttered.

If that was the oddest thing that happened today then he'd consider it a good day.

The 3 arrived at the foot of the steps among the crowd where Buster was speaking loudly in mid-speech it appeared.

''-after much deliberation with the authorities in the school it gives me great pleasure to announce the first annual bicycle gala!''

''Bike race'' clarified Babs.

There were a few scattered claps, Buster rolled his eyes.

''With a cash prize!'' he stated.

That got everyone cheering.

''The race will take place a week from Saturday! The winner wins a cash price of $100 from our sponsors!''

''P.S eat at Joes'' said Babs promptly disintegrating any mystery surrounding there sponsors.

''Bring forth the presidential artist!'' declared Buster.

Adam raised his hand where he stood about 3 feet away from him, ''yo Nixon I'm right here''.

Buster jumped slightly but regained composure, ''go forth and create posters to advertise this gala! I want a full turnout to-''

''WAIT JUST A DOG-GONE MINUTE!''

Everyone's smile withered and Adam looked to the sky, ''here we go...'' he muttered.

Monty stomped forwards and pointed up at Buster, ''if anyone's gonna win that cash prize it's gonna be me!''

''We have a contender already!'' said Buster jovially, Monty seethed at Busters unhampered spirit, ''the race is open to everyone Monty''.

''Well I'm gonna win even if I have to race with vermin!'' said Monty earning scowls from everyone, ''you may have stolen the election but you won't steal this from me!''

''Monty you announced your scheme on live TV'' said Babs.

Monty turned red, ''It was a setup! You framed me! I'm gonna win this darn race and get that money! AND DON'T CALL ME MONTY!''

And he stormed off presumably to scheme and plot, the others watched him go.

''That's the only setting he comes in, isn't it?'' noted Adam.

''If you can find a way to try and change it be my guest'' said Plucky.

Adam didn't want his fingerprints on that train wreck.

''Aaaaaaanyway'' said Babs, ''get your bikes ready and shined, the race is open to everyone!''

''Just make sure you register by Thursday'' said Buster.

The crowd clapped him and went off back to their business, Adam stayed a moment, ''so what you after from me? Posters and the like?''

''Posters, banners... Business cards''

''Business cards?''

''I needed a third one''

''Well I can do all that when I get in today'' said Adam, ''any particular features you wanted in them''.

Buster laid out some outlines, Adam jotted them down in a notebook and nodded, ''on it'' he said, ''I'll get some preliminaries ready''.

''Are you gonna sign up for the race?'' asked Buster.

Adam shook his head, ''nah, not got a bike have I, couldn't do much if I could''.

''I'm sure you could get one before next Saturday'' said Babs.

Again Adam shook his head, ''could never afford it by then'' he said, his small appearances here and there on the show, his student grant and the commissions he got for painting covered his utilities and food budget, any extra he put aside and used sparingly on a treat or something like when he bought his VCR.

''Well try after Saturday, I think you'll be able to afford it quite safely by then'' Buster noted with a slightly sly tone in his voice.

Adam looked at him curiously, ''any particular reason?''

''You'll see'' said Babs matching her partners tone before both rabbits walked into the building leaving the one orange one standing outside still.

''I hate when people say that'' he muttered.


Saturday rolled around and Adam woke up that day with what they had said at the very back of his head, he tried to glean some info from the others but they either played dumb or didn't know, eventually he stopped caring and focused on his school work and commissions.

He sorted and dressed himself and walked into his living room flicking on the TV, each Saturday Tiny Toons aired and it was about 5 minutes before it came on, so he decided to get a mug of tea ready for breakfast, he heard the TV making the announcement and figured he'd woken up just in time.

The usual intro of Tiny Toons played in the background as Adam stirred his tea, he always made sure to watch these days, he felt a little embarrassed admitting why though, sometimes on occasion he saw himself on the screen in small back-character roles, it felt a little self indulgent but it paid his bills, plus he was loving the show again.

He threw the spoon into his sink and walked out blowing the steam off the mug as he did, Buster and Babs were doing their usual wraparounds for the episode.

''Sometimes toonsters, even the people we rely on most need a break'' said Buster

''Something Monty's about to find out the hard way''.

''And something one toonster is going to have to deal with, whether he likes it or not''.

The two were outside Montana's mansion, after they said their part the clip zoomed in on the building and faded to black to make room for the title card.

Adam glanced at the TV as it flashed up.

He spat,

Coughed,

Sputtered,

And gasped as he sucked in his tea down the wrong pipe, he stared at the TV as the painted title card for the segment flashed up.

It had an image of Monty screaming as usual.

And himself.

In a butler uniform.

Looking at Monty in a very non-plussed manner.

The title above read in bold red letters 'Butler for a Day!'

It was an episode.

His misadventure had become an episode.

He had an episode.

A full, actual episode.

For a moment he stared.

Then total abject panic set in.

He shouted 10 different swears in the span of 7 seconds.

Then he spilled his tea on his wrist and shouted the same 10 swears in the span of 4 seconds.

Brits have their tea VERY hot.

He span around the room like a pinball on caffeine flailing his burnt wrist, he had just made a BIG alteration to the timeline of the show, some segment had been bumped or cancelled to make room for his and he didn't even know what one!

He looked at the TV, afraid to watch, it showed Grovely declaring his need for a vacation as per his contract.

Deciding he had better watch he fetched his tea off the small table he'd left it on and sat on the sofa, watching how Monty tried several butlers before getting an idea.

Adam had to admit the way Monty straight up stared at his home through a telescope was unnerving.

Then he made an appearance.

He didn't know how he'd been filmed or how the footage had been compiled but it was sure as sugar himself that Monty dragged out of his burrow.

He watched on and saw his day at Monty's compressed into a segment, from being dressed by Arnold, to messing with his counting, even the incident with the pancakes.

Basically chapter 33 in animated form if you're wondering yourselves.

Each quip, sarcastic remark and sly joke he made showed up, he just sat on the sofa writhing and cringing as he was shown on TV to the entire world.

What would happen now?

What would this cause?

How big an effect would this have?

His head flooded with a great deal of movie references that had this sort of thing as a basis, would Monty wind up turning the school into a casino?

Would he rip a hole in the time vortex?

Would everyone start mutating like in 'The Butterfly Effect'?

He paused a moment catching his racing thoughts.

''I watch too many movies'' he noted quietly figuring a small segment in a cartoon show wasn't likely to have that effect.

But that's not to say it wouldn't have any.

and aside from altering the timeline he was face with an even bigger realisation that very much effected the present, he had only had a few moments where he had spoken on TV before and even then he had remained a side-character, often seen talking with others in the background while some action happened in the forth.

Now he was the protagonist.

He was main focus.

And the entire world was watching him.

How would they respond?

The show carried on, his trick with the armchair with Monty, his chase through the house, the narrow avoidance of a severe beating.

And Monty's none-avoidance of a severe beating.

He watched through his fingers half the time, wincing at each quip until the very final line.

''The butler did it? for real?! Could I not think of a better line than that!?'' he exclaimed.

The episode ended and left Adam feeling all sorts of emotions.

Very few of them 'good'.

the adverts started playing, his segment had taken up the full first half of the show much to his further embarrassment, he tried to calm himself down and relax a little, surely one episode couldn't do much harm?

Then the phone rang.

Adam stared at it and quietly swore once more to himself before breathing heavily and picking it up, ''hello?'' he said nervously.

''Hey Adam have ya watched the show?'' asked Buster jovially on the other end of the line.

Adam took a millisecond to let his eyes roll up into his head in relief before snapping back and speaking, ''aye I saw it! Why din't yer tell me I had a bloody segment?!''

''Well gee I didn't wanna ruin the surprise''.

Adam had to bite his tongue a brief moment before responding, ''why do I have an episode? I'm not even a proper character man!''

''Oh c'mon it was funny, the producers liked it and so did the people at the studio, so they thought they'd give it a chance''.

''And without even telling me?!''

''Actually they told us to tell you but we wanted to keep it a surprise''.

Adam came close to bursting a blood vessel.

Instead he sighed long and hard through his nose in frustration, unable to come with anything to say, ''Ahhh Jesus man'' he said at last, ''I... I dunno what to make of this, what's gonna happen? I'm fine with meandering about in the background but... But this... this is... out of my league'' he finished lamely.

''but you managed against Monty just fine, better than your first try, and you bested him again during the election, what's there to be nervous about?'' asked Buster slightly concerned.

Adam banged his head lightly against the wall and let it rest there as he held the phone to his ear, he knew he couldn't explain the future worries, his home universes alternate time period was known but more or less had been glazed over with everything else that had happened with his arrival, and he didn't feel like calling attention to it, last thing he needed adding to his anxiety was people asking him about future events.

Or Plucky badgering him for lottery numbers.

So he decided to just say the other reason he was worried.

''everyone's going to see me, like, actually see me in a full role, not just in background'' he said, ''what if they... don't... Urgh..'' he trailed off feeling silly for saying it but at the same time he had to say it.

Anxiety folks, it's a real pill sometimes.

''You're worried they won't like you?''

''... Aye...'' Adam said quietly.

Buster was quiet for a few moments, he knew his usual tactics didn't work on Adam, very little toon tricks did, so he had to think his words through carefully.

''well, you never know until you try, and besides, we all think you did well, and the studio thought it was good enough to make it a full episode.

''Right 'cause the studios full of geniuses'' said Adam sarcastically with a small laugh, lightening the tone somewhat.

''Good point'' said Buster matching his tone, ''but it'll be fine''

''You don't know that'' responded quietly.

Buster was quiet a moment, ''well the ratings and reviews always come in Monday, we can check them then and you'll see for yourself''

Adam wanted to make another sarcastic remark but he knew Buster was trying to help so swallowed it and sighed, ''Aye alreyt, guess I'll just have to wait till then'' he said.

There wasn't much else he could do.

''Don't sweat it pal! You'll be fine''.

''And even if you don't we could always use more stagehands'' said another voice.

Adam paused.

''How long has Babs been on this call?'' he asked lowly.

''Ehhhh depends, what time did I call you?''

Adam hung up.


For the whole weekend Adam did nothing but fret.

Each time he went out he was afraid someone might say something, recognise him, or disparage his appearance on the show.

Of course the people of Acme Acres are accustomed to television stars wandering about and filming randomly.

For many homes it was part of the lease agreement.

None-the-less Adam constantly fretted, his eyes flickered about should anyone approach, he tried to hide it but the others could tell he was in high alert mode and tried to coax him out of it but couldn't.

When Monday came he traipsed into the school and made no sound at all, hoping he'd be forgotten as the first class started, first class as always was with Bugs, the usual meeting happened after school so he figured he'd have a full day to prepare himself...

He blamed himself for jinxing it.

''Okay class'' said Bugs as he walked in, ''I know we have our usual ratings meeting at 3 but today's a special one so we'll be having it now''.

Adam repressed a swear so hard he nearly shattered a tooth.

''As I'm sure you'll all know a certain toon here had their first big show!'' he said gesturing to the orange rabbit who at this point looked like he was trying to merge with his seat.

''He just rode on my coat tails'' snarked Monty.

The class jeered the brat and Adam shrank down, although unlike meeting Mr Spielberg he didn't do so literally this time.

Partially because he was focusing on not doing so, he had to be very careful about his emotions and his toon abilities mixing.

He was unable to prevent himself going a rather fetching shade of pink though.

Bugs tapped his ruler on the table to get the class's attention, ''we'll start up our meeting same as usual, by looking at the overall viewer ratings for each character from all the previous episodes and then comparing them with the most recent ratings from the latest episode, any major changes will affect the overall statistics once there added to the overall statistics''.

''One perk of having a new character'' noted Plucky, ''it makes it a lot easier to cram in some exposition''.

Adam didn't know how to respond to that.

Bugs pulled down a screen and a projector flickered on somewhere, Adam peered up behind him to see the light source and saw Gogo hanging from the ceiling with the light streaming from his eyes.

'Saw that one coming' he thought.

''let's look at the overall statistics'' said Bugs, a bar graph flickered up with different colours for each character and a little image of their head on the top of the bar, of course Buster and Babs (marked by a blue and pink bar respectively) were the top ones, Plucky and Hampton followed for the second places reaching the second tallest, the rest were only a little lower different only slightly in height difference for each character.

Except Monty's which could barely be seen and Elmyra's which wasn't as low but was still low.

Adam located his in the graph, to his immense relief he saw he slotted in quite neatly on the third tier with the secondary characters, his own bar being a distinct orange colour and his own image of a nervous smile being sat on top.

So he wasn't on the top but he wasn't in the bottom, in the eyes of the world he slotted in quite neatly with characters like Mary, Fifi, Furrball, Calamity and Little Beeper, high enough to stay on.

He breathed happily.

''As we can see you've all remained quite steady so far, Adam this bar has risen a little over time'' said Bugs using his pointer to gesture at his orange bar, ''so you've been making improvements during your time here''.

''Thank you'' said Adam quietly.

Bugs turned back to the screen, ''now'' he said, ''we look at the latest stats for the latest episode''

The stats flickered up a moment later, Adam was surprised.

The others had remained the same aside from Calamity's and Little Beepers whom had also had segments in that episode, and then there was his.

His had risen.

it wasn't a very big rise, he hadn't reached Plucky and Hamptons level and he sure as sugar wasn't anywhere near Buster and Babs but he was now in a little tier between the others and them, Calamity and beepers were also in this tier but his was just a little bit higher.

He blushed crimson.

''Way tah go Adam!'' said Buster turning back to look at the orange rabbit, ''that's a good level for a newbie''.

''We all usually see a bump in ratings after a solo episode, it could help push up your average'' said Babs.

Adam smiled nervously, he didn't want to be a major star (just yet) and he certainly didn't want to steal the spotlight from any others, but maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...

Bugs however had a knowing smile, ''now'' he said, ''let's check da international levels''.

''International levels?'' said Plucky, ''don't the fellas up at the studio handle those''.

The class normally just focused on the ratings from America, international statistics were handled by the higher ups.

Bugs grinned, ''Yes Plucky, but after seeing them myself I thought dat I should share this with you guys'', he turned to the screen.

''Here's the ratings for the latest showing... in England''.

Adam froze.

The screen changed, everyone's stayed more or less the same if not a little lower down (cultural difference I suppose).

But Adams had gone up.

And up.

And up.

Until it was just edging the tier Buster and Babs were on.

He had gone past Plucky and Hampton.

Adam stared.

''What?!'' snapped Plucky.

Hampton turned and looked at Adam, ''wow, you really must be popular over there''.

Adam stared.

Babs turned and noted him, ''that's a difficult market for us, you must have struck a chord over there''.

Adam stared.

As Babs looked at him he just sat still like someone had paused the TV, it was then Babs noticed something else,

He wasn't breathing either.

''Adam?''

The orange rabbit just stared glossy eyed.

Calamity, who was sat behind him, reached over and slapped his back, Adam choked and coughed as he snapped back to reality and breathed in sucking oxygen into his lungs, ''oh god!'' he sputtered, ''oh god!''

Buster was confused, ''what's da matter? You said Saturday that you were afraid they wouldn't like you?''

Adam admitted to himself that he had worried that his popularity on the show would plummet after making a big appearance, thing was though he hadn't exactly wanted it to skyrocket either.

But with it being his luck of course this wouldn't have gone smoothly.

''Well... aye but...'' Adam glanced round the room at the other toons, all of which had been on this show much longer than him, taking into account the fact that technically he shouldn't even be there at all.

In the school.

On the show.

In this whole universe.

And you thought you felt displaced at times.

Get on his level.

''I didn't want to... Upstage anyone...'' he said quietly.

Of course none of the students (Asides from Plucky and Max) felt this way but as far as Adam was concerned he had no business doing so well in a show he was never meant to have been part of, and he knew for a fact the show would have done just as well had he never arrived.

He knew this because he had seen it himself.

So what right had he to just steal the spotlight like this?

If any readers out there are confused by this sudden flip flop in his goals then I can assure you it was way worse inside his own head.

''we have some of da reviews here'' said Bugs drawing the attention away from Adam much to the Brits relief, if only slightly as bugs picked up a sheet of paper, ''the reviews are from across the country but the most positive ones come from your own region kid, south Yorkshire''.

Adam could have guessed that but said nothing.

Bugs cleared his throat, ''a refreshing episode from America featuring the young English toon finally making a big appearance, Adam shows to be a true full blooded Yorkshire stand-out setting him above the stereotypical British characters most American shows have, although clearly nervous and looking like a fish out of water this ginger rabbit proves to be no pushover and as well as the usual slapstick Warner Brothers cartoons are known for this character shows a ready wit and a sly side that borders on Blackadders own level''.

''What's a Blackadder?'' asked Babs quietly.

''I think it's a snake in England'' said Buster.

Adam was sat close by and heard this, he went to correct them but then stopped himself.

They were technically right.

Bugs put the papers back down and looked up, ''looks like you're on your way to the top kid, whatever your doin' they seem ta' like it!''

''Err... aye I reckon they do'' he said with a nervous smile.

''That's the stuff!'' said Bugs.

Adam blinked unsure what he meant before realising he meant his accent.

The class continued and Adam managed to calm his heartbeat, apparently his stint on TV hadn't had that bad of an impact and may have benefitted him without harming anyone else.

All the same he decided to keep a low profile for a while, lest he fly too close to the sun or wear out the impact he had.

But when did anything he tried ever go to plan?


A few days later Adams mail came again when he was home, and with it came a letter he usually got, his paycheque.

His small appearances got him a tidy sum, nothing too great and nothing to write home about, but a neat little living wage that helped him pay his bills.

He idly flicked through his bills and plucked out the beige one with the studios stamp on it, he really wished they'd hurry up and invent direct debit, he didn't like having an entire paycheque in his home or carrying it down the street.

''I mean there's gotta be easier ways than this'' he said in a sigh as he opened the envelope and pulled out the cheque, it was always a giddy feeling getting paid.

He smiled slightly and looked at the amount.

He stared.

He re-read it.

Then re-read it again.

Then another 4 times just to be sure.

This was not his usual amount.

It was WAY more.

He stared a moment.

''HOLY-''

I've already said one swear last chapter so I'll refrain from doing so again... at least so soon afterwards anyway.

He carefully checked the thing over making sure it was his, it was through and through, that was his name and his address and everything, he noticed another piece of paper in the envelope and fished it out, it was a signed note.

Congrats on your first episode,

Maybe now you can get that bike!

-Buster & Babs

He smiled slightly at the kind gesture, but now he had to think.

If he was technically a child star he had to be very VERY careful.

He knew the unfortunate usual rumours with child stars from the 90's back in his day and age.

He had to be very cautious, the money he had would go straight into the bank and stay there, his little nest egg as it were.

He paused.

''Of course, I reckon I can just skim a little off the top for a bike'' he said with a slight smile.

But then he thought, where do you get a bike actually?

There was the toy department in the ACME shopping centre (or mall as it was called in America) but after his stint with the robot and the plane for Hamptons birthday he decided he'd rather not.

There was another toy shop in town... But it was owned by Max.

''I'd sooner sneeze in my hand and clap'' he muttered to himself.

He did not actually say 'sneeze' but like I said, I'm on thin ice.

He paused and thought, maybe there was some sort of mail order catalogue, he knew he had his Acme one around here somewhere but he actively avoided ordering from them.

Calamity proved enough of a warning on that sort of thing!

''Hey you!''

Adam jumped and span around with his fists up thinking someone was in his home.

''You there! Tired of walking?''

His eyes span to the TV where he saw the voice was coming from the television, where a grossly overweight man in a Stetson was talking to the screen.

''Theeeeeeen get a bike get a bike get a bike today,

Walk or run or skip but don't delay!

Got a deal it's a steal so come in and pay

Then biiiiiiicycle Bob will say!

Bicycle Bob will eat a bucket of scorpions if he doesn't give you the business!''

The ad went off and Adam stared at the TV for a moment.

''I never turned that on...'' he said quietly before turning on his heel and making for the exit. ''And I thought internet cookies were bad!'' he said loudly as he left.


After putting his money in the bank Adam decided (Seeing as there was nothing else to do) to check out the bike shop.

He had a gut feeling he'd regret it but he also got the feeling this was more or less where he had to go.

If anything more out of Plot Convenience.

The place wasn't exactly hard to find, it had a huge sign that flashed in different colours and rows and rows of bikes outside it.

Adam slowly perused the bikes as he strolled by, they all had garish colours and logos on them but other than that seemed pretty standard, but he eyed each of them with a touch of scepticism, knowing what looks good and what works good are two very different things.

He was just looking at the gears of one when a shadow fell over him, he didn't move but his eyes flickered up, he already knew exactly what he was going to see.

''Oh gawd'' he said silently before he looked round.

''Well howdy there little partner!''

Bicycle Bob stood there behind him looking exactly as he had done in the advert, Stetson and all.

'Please don't sing' Adam thought vaguely.

''You look like the kind of kid who's tired of walking everywhere''.

'He just call me fat?' Adam thought.

''I'm just looking'' he said quickly but he had the feeling that tactic wouldn't work on Bicycle Bob, a feeling which unfortunately proved correct.

''Well sonny look no further! Because Bicycle Bob's got the deal of a lifetime for you!''

Adam was already trying to edge away; he'd dealt with enough pushy salesmen in Meadowhall, at least back home you could pretend to be on your phone if they saw you coming, provided you saw them first.

But this was the 90s now and he had no mobile phone to pretend to be pre-occupied with.

Bicycle Bob must have seen him slowly edging back and promptly wrapped an arm wrong his shoulder and ushered him alongside him, ''I service every bike I sell! And we have some of the very top models all at cheap prices!''

'Oh god here we go' Adam thought and tried to back out, ''but I don't-''

''We have bikes for all ages and all sizes!''

''Yeah but-''

''And all come with a 30 year extended warranty!''

He stopped suddenly and pulled a contract out of his pocket and let it unfurl,

And unfurl...

And unfurl...

Adam raised an eyebrow as it fluttered down and nearly reached the pavement outside the shops property.

''Whys it so... oh... extended warranty, that's... yeah that's funny'' he said with a tiny chuckle.

He may have really liked the show growing up, but that didn't mean every joke was a belter.

If Bob was put off by his comment he didn't show it, ''yes siree! but before that what you really want is a bike!'' he said and gestured at the ground, a circle shaped portion of the tarmac suddenly flipped over revealing a bike that Adam guessed he was supposed to flip-flop over, its body was composed of what looked like a plastic orange triangle and its handle bars looped downwards in what he guessed was supposed to be an aerodynamic design, the entire thing shimmered in the light.

Adam did not flip-flop.

He thought it looked ridiculous.

''Well why don't ya take a looksy there partner?'' said Bob.

Adam sighed inwardly but strolled over and looked it over deciding to give it a fair shot, the bodywork looked like it was built for streamlining and to look good... but not much else, he doubted its strength when he flicked it and got a hollow plastic 'tunk' in return, on closer inspection the plastic frame seemed to be all that was holding it together and the brakes didn't respond very well when he tried them, it definitely looked like something that would break the moment he got it home.

But when he saw the price tag he knew it wouldn't be getting that far.

I won't say how much it was but I can assure you Adam had no intention of paying anything like that for anything; he hadn't even paid that amount for his TV set.

''Well I can't afford this for a start!'' he said bluntly,

''Well now who says you can't amigo?'' asked bob.

''I says, and I says I can't afford this bloody thing!'' said Adam.

Bob walked around and placed his hands on the bike, ''well y'all wanna hurry up and make a decision, because this is the last one I have at this here discounted price''.

''I'm sure it is'' Adam muttered sarcastically, ''but discount or not I don't particularly want it anyway''.

Bob looked put out, ''so you don't want anti-lock brakes, custom steel belted white wall tires, a free deluxe package all at lowly monthly instalments?''

''Monthly installments?'' questioned Adam, ''it's a bike not a flaming E-Type!''

Bob blinked, ''is... is that a err...''

''It's a make of car'' said Adam lowly, annoyed as yet another one of his quips fell flat because of cultural difference.

''Why buckaroo you won't need no car when you park your seat on this here bike'' said bob.

Adam rolled his eyes.

''I service every bike I sell, remember that 30 year extended warranty'' he said pulling out the form again and waving it in Adams face who begrudgingly took it if only to get it out of his face.

''Yes sir-ee and today only you can take advantage of our green shirt initiative, where any customer wearing a green shirt gets a half a per-cent off guarantee''.

Adam looked at the warranty then glanced lowly up at Bob before reaching into his hammerspace and pulling out his glasses which he unfolded with a flick of his wrist and slid onto his nose before looking at the contract.

''Err, whatcha doin' there partner?''

''Reading this'' said Adam simply.

''Now why would ya want to do a silly thing like that?'' said bob.

''Why wouldn't I?'' said Adam not looking up from where he was reading.

Bob struggled to come up with a reason, as he did Adam read through the document, it all sounded technical and boring so far but then he noticed some small print.

''What's this'' he asked pointing at the tiny paragraph.

''Oh that's just some fine print, just some boring ol' boiler plate stuff'' said Bob chuckling nervously.

The fact he was chuckling nervously told Adam it was not 'boiler plate' stuff, ''well'' he said casually, ''I'd better give it a read through, got a magnifying glass?''.

Bob made a show of patting himself down, ''aww shoot partner, I musta' left it at home'' he said, ''but that limited time deal is running out!''

Adam had known fully well he wouldn't have gotten a magnifying glass from Bob, but he had been working on one certain toon trick that came in handy, he rose his hand and gripped the rim of the lens in front of his good eye between his thumb and fore-finger then carefully rotated it, a dull mechanical clicking sounded out as the lens magnified and the text enlarged.

Bob was stumped.

''Guarantee mechanical failure or return should product fail or brake'' muttered Adam as he read along, ''for the disclosed period of 30 years from the signing date or the distance of 30 yards from the retail outle-hey!''

He re-read it, ''30 years or 30 yards!?'' he looked up, ''what sort of-WHOA!''

He jumped and so did Bob, ''What?! What is it!?''

''I didn't zoom out'' said Adam slightly embarrassed, he had just gotten an extremely realistic and unsettling zoom in of Bobs face, ''by the way you should look into skin care'' he said off handedly as he took off his glasses, ''anyway 30 years or 30 yards?! What sort of deal is that?!''

Bob floundered, ''err well you see, you see thing about that is...''

''I think we're done here'' said Adam and walked away placing the contract on the bike as he did, it wobbled unsettlingly and he made a speed walk off the lot, but Bob kept trying to block his path

''Wait a minute kid! Doncha want to help ol' Bob out?''

Adam skirted round him and scurried off, ''no!'' he said as he made it to the pavement and sprinted slightly down the road,

''You don't wanna let me hafta' eat a bucket of scorpions now do ya?!'' called Bob after him.

Officially sick of the pushy fat man Adam turned and shouted back, ''stick them down yer trousers for all I care!''

And he turned and sprinted off, slightly giddy that he'd actually said that!

This giddy joy turned to panic when he turned and saw an angry Bob running after him, ''you low-down cheeky varmit!''

Adam kicked it into full-on sprint mode and tore off down the road, luckily Bob turned out to be a poor runner and stopped after two blocks, but Adam didn't stop running until he'd put 5 more between them before he stopped panting slightly and walked morosely off down a road, he sighed bitterly, he should have figured that bicycle Bob would have been a bust.

Never trust any salesman wearing a Stetson,

Unless it's Sam Elliot.

But now what did he do?

He'd checked the phone book and that bike shop was the only one in Acme Acres, the only other being in Burbank.

And he'd sooner eat a bucket of scorpions than go there again!

As he sank further into his thoughts he flicked into autopilot without noticing, he was still walking but his mind was somewhere else.

'I guess I could try ACME' he thought, 'surely they must make at least one product without the risk of it blowing up...'

Adam laughed out loud and snapped out of autopilot mode

He didn't realise he had been so lost in thought he'd gone down the wrong street.

as he snapped out of the 'zone' and blinked he looked around, ''ah sugar'' he said as he realised he was in unfamiliar turf, he didn't know acme acres very well and had only memorised a few key routes such as shops, the school and certain toons homes.

Thankfully though he could see the Looniversity's clock tower from here, he'd just have to use that as a beacon to find his path again.

he was about to leave when he noticed something, a shop across the road and a bit away from him, it was very old looking and a bit musky round the edges, its black painted sign showed the name in faded white paint.

'ANTIQUES & JUNK - BEST PRICES GIVEN'

Adams curiosity peaked, he had a fair penchant for old-fashioned things so decided to check it out.

The door was heavy and creaked as it opened, he smelt the dusty air inside as the door shut behind him.

the room was chock full of bric-a-brack, brass, iron, old books and furniture, there was a counter besides the door where an old man was reading a newspaper, he looked up and around for a moment before looking down and seeing the young toon, ''oh!'' he said, ''can I help you?''

''Err I just saw this place and thought I'd look around, if you didn't mind'' said Adam politely.

The man smiled, ''of course, just be careful with some of the items for sale, delicate ones are roped off or labelled''.

''Righto'' said Adam and wandered into the shop, it was fairly deep but well lit, there were shelves, stocked with all sorts of random items but a lot of the stock was stacked up in piles.

Adam saw a lot of interesting things, an old captain's hat particularly took his interest as he picked it up and inspected it.

Then he noticed something in the corner of his eye, sticking out of one of the cluttered piles was a handle.

Curious he carefully shifted some more of the stock uncovering more and more of what it was hiding.

By now I'm sure you've guessed it already but I like suspense so I'll keep going.

He finally cleared away all the stock and looked at what he had uncovered.

It was a bike.

An old bike at that, it was fairly large and had chipped black paint but the metalwork had been looked after, it was leant against a wall and as Adam lifted it slightly he felt the weight of it, a brass lamp was stuck on each end, a white one on the front and a red one at the back, and it had no suspension, just steel frames, the tires looked worn out but the metal rim and spokes looked alright along with the grey mudguards, it even had a built-on luggage rack at the back.

Adam was immediately interested.

''S'cuse me mate'' he said leaning back and calling to the counter, ''I have a few questions about this bike here''.

The old man walked over, ''oh that'' he said, ''I forgot clean all about that old thing''.

Adam looked it over, it would take a bit of fixing up and a lot of new parts, the chain was gone and the brake shoes were worn to nothing buuuuuuuut...

''How much you wantin' for it?'' he asked innocently.

The man considered, ''well it's a sturdy thing, I made sure to look after the metalwork''.

''Aye but it's a bit of a fixer-upper'' said Adam, ''no chain on the wheels, brakes need replacing, tires are out of order''.

''Hmm yes well, can't work miracles'' said the man, ''how does $150 sound?''

Adam considered, he really did want this bike but rule one of deciding a price is never look eager.

''Hmmm'' he said, ''with what replacement parts will cost me, I reckon... $120?''

The man sucked his teeth, ''I'm losing out on an offer like that kid, $140''

''$135 aaaaand...'' said Adam, ''you throw in this hat'' he said picking up the captains hat he'd found.

''$137 and 50 cents'' said the old man.

''Deal''.

They shook hands and Adam handed him the money before easing the bike carefully out of the clutter, it squeaked as it rolled out through the shop, the hat tucked under his arm.

''Get door would yer mate? This things a bit heavy'' he called; the old man held open the door and Adam rolled out his new bike.

Well not so new but you get my meaning.

the bearings resisted at first but after a bit of pushing and tugging he managed to get it to roll down the street with some ease, the metal was heavy and thick and he felt the weight of it as he rolled it back home.

It was a bit difficult to get back into his burrow with the bike but once he did he propped it up in the corner by the ladder and had a look at it.

''hmmm, new tires, new brakes and a good paint job, not to mention an actual chain...'' he said in thought, then smiled, ''worth it'' he said patting the headlamp fondly.

He had a bike.

He had a week to fix it, but he had a bike.

He was just turning away from it when something caught his eye, the light had reflected oddly against something on the metal, he ducked down and saw an emblem carved into it.

Raleigh - 1953

His eyes widened and he let out a low whistle, ''old fella aren't you?''

He didn't know if it was some toon logic or some stereotypical universal toon code that he had gained a British made bike but he was quite glad for it in this case.

Although I put it down to lazy writing...

Forget I said that.


Adam was busy the next few days.

He carefully researched bit by bit how to fix his new bike, he'd picked up a lot from his own dad who was a mechanical engineer back home and often bragged of his process.

Of course sometimes this backfired when one of his fixes malfunctioned, something Adam had always been quick to point out and playfully mock.

None-the-less he was careful with his progress double and triple checking everything he did, he repainted the frame jet black and fixed up the steering alignment.

Of course it wasn't THAT simple, the chain was something he had a fair bit of bother with, so he rang Calamity a couple of times on the phone...

And when he once again found out the futility of that strategy he invited him round instead.

Calamity agreed to help him keep the bike a secret for the time being, although Adam had to regularly stop him from making 'modifications'.

''if I wanted a rocket on it'' he said after catching Calamity trying to hide lengths of fuses for the 4th time, ''I'd give acme a bell, and after seeing your luck with them I think we all know how that would end''.

Calamity crossed his arms but Adam stood firm on that point, ''you can give me that look all you want but admit it, that company has some shady practices''.

Calamity had to concede at that.

With his help it wasn't long before the bike was fully restored, of course they modernised the brake system...

Well they '90s'-ized' them at any rate.

Finally the day came where Adams efforts paid off (or he hoped they would).

The paint was dry.

The motion was oiled.

And the tires fully inflated and fitted.

He was going to ride it to school.

There was a little bike rack round the side he'd seen a few characters park their bikes on, more often these days now the bike race was coming up.

Other than a few test runs in circles around the burrow (which had done his carpet no favours) this would be the first time Adam gave his new bike a proper run.

He carefully moved it outside and stood it up, it had been a long time since he had owned or ridden a bike but like they say, you never forget.

He had a bike lock in his hammerspace, he could see the pathway at the bottom of the hill his burrow was on, this was it.

''alright fella'' he said as he swung his leg over and parked his rear on the seat, then very quickly got up again and sat down carefully this time, ''lets see what you can do''.

With pat on the headlamp he placed his foot on the pedal and pushed off bringing his other foot onto the opposite pedal.

The bike sailed freely down the slight incline and he turned onto the pathway before pedalling hard, his bike was heavy but once he got a good momentum going on it he sailed down the pathway, he had to be careful of bumps though.

It had no suspension.

His bike was made of thick steel pipes and had silver metal mud guards, it didn't have multiple gears but it held together and was very sturdy, however it did look much older than the other bikes he saw.

As he rode along the path he saw some of the other students making their way to school that day.

''ey-up!'' he called as he cycled past, some waved then noticed his new bike, but he had cycled away before he could hear anything.

he reached the school much quicker this day and swerved round to the bike racks, there were lots of bikes there that day and as he rode in he saw some of the other toons still there, Buster, Babs, Plucky and Hampton.

He rattled up and with squeak he braked to a halt, ''alreyt!'' he greeted.

Buster turned and noticed his bike, ''oh hey! Ya gotta bike!''

''Aye spent the week fixing it up!'' said Adam quite proudly.

Plucky looked it over, ''fixing it from where? The junkyard?''

Adam gave the fowl a foul look and was quick to leap to the defence of his bike, ''wussat meant ta mean!?''

''It is a bit old'' said Babs looking it over, she took note of the lamp, ''is that an oil lamp?!''

''Well... Aye but, it works'' said Adam lamely.

Hampton peered at the emblem, ''rally? It's a race bike?''

''Raleigh'' corrected Adam, ''and they were the top bike makers in the world... a while back...''

''1953?!''

Adam blushed, ''yeah... but look at this'' he knocked the metal with his knuckle, ''solid''.

Buster exchanged a look with Babs, ''well... you have a bike that's the main thing''.

Adam scowled silently deciding not to reply and instead set about getting the lock out of his hammerspace, he was just leaning down to secure it to the rack when-

'PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!'

Adam span and fell back over the bike rack, Hampton leapt into a bush, Buster and Babs leapt 5 foot into the air and Plucky scrambled up the nearby lamp post like a spider and clung to the top as a new challenger appeared.

Adam groaned from where he'd banged his knee and looked up, ''oh god'' he muttered seeing the new arrival.

''Hey losers! You don't stand a chance in that race! Check out MY new ride!''

it was certainly 'new', even by Adams standards, it was sleek, white painted, had a number of streamlining modifications on it making the midsection look like a huge deformed teardrop, a windscreen set on the handlebars and computer monitor on there centre, it was mate of a fibre lightweight alloy and had aero wheels to boot.

Of course Monty had added all manner of flame decals and racing stripes, there was no doubt in Adams mind that Monty genuinely thought these would make it faster.

Monty himself was wearing a white jumpsuit and a teardrop helmet with its own visor, all of which Adam felt was very impractical for a day at school.

Monty pressed a button on the handle and the horn sounded again making all wince, especially the rabbits.

''Can you not?'' said Adam a little dazed.

Unfortunately this lead Monty's gaze over to the most recent addiction to the bike rack, Adams own ride.

''Hah! I wouldn't have even bothered with this if I had seen this first!'' said the brat kicking down the stand on his own bike and stomping over to Adams, the orange rabbit quickly got inbetween the two.

''Oi! Back off!'' he snapped.

Monty didn't, instead circling round to the other side, Adam placed his hands on the frames just in case, ''where'd ya get this heap of junk! Granny's house?!''

''Is this gonna be the theme of the day? The age of my bloody bike?'' Adam asked rolling his eyes.

Monty laughed, ''you don't stand a chance you stupid rabbit! This thing'll turn tah rust before it even makes it to the other end of the track! I knew the others were poor but you must be-''

he never finished that sentence, the pedals on Adams bike suddenly span backwards and the one on Monty's side rammed full force into his shin.

His jumpsuit did not absorb the blow.

Max leapt back and hopped around on one foot screaming about his shin, Adam observed all of this with a bemused look, ''I think you're over-reacting a little bit there mate'' he said dully, before glancing down at his bike.

He had not moved the pedals.

Max finished and growled, ''I'll show you!'' he said, ''I'll show all of you! That prize money is mine mine mine!''

''Isn't hundred quid like a flash in the pan for you?'' Adam said in the same dull tone.

Max grinned, ''yeah but if I have you don't!''

''We'll see about that Monty!'' said Buster defiantly, ''some of our most athletic toonsters are in this race too!''

''Yeah!''

All looked up to see Plucky still clinging to the lamp, ''that's right! I'm in this race too ya know!''

''You're not exactly who we meant Plucky'' said Babs.

If Plucky heard he didn't care or show it as he slid down the lamp and landed at the base, ''I, this schools top athlete! Shall make it my mission to beat you!''

''Oh god he's off on one'' said Adam idly as he locked his bike to the rack.

''Oh yeah!'' said Monty squaring up.

''Yeah! I go cycling with Hampton every week!''

''You do?'' Babs asked Hampton.

Hampton nodded, ''I push him up the hills''

Adam smirked as Plucky faltered, ''well, I don't want to wear out my leg muscles!''

''Can't wear out what you don't have'' said Babs.

This spat could have lasted much longer had the bell tower not suddenly struck Gogo shot out of the doors underneath the clock face and ran a triangle.

''Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Classes soon! Cuckoo!'' and he shot back inside.

''You wait till this Saturday vermin!'' said Monty, he turned to his bike, ''computer! Activate security measures!''

The bike shimmied around and deployed several locks and shields over its parts until it looked like an armadillo, Max grinned and swaggered away inside.

''oh this is gonna be a fun couple of days'' said Adam sarcastically as they walked inside after him, Adam was last and as he walked through the doors he looked back curiously at his bike, remembering the pedal incident.

'I never touched that pedal' he thought as he walked inside.

The school day came and went the same as always, explosions and tests; I'd elaborate more but this chapters getting fairly lengthy so let's just skip to 3pm when the final bell rang and they all bolted for the door.

a fair few more gathered at the bike racks than that morning as everyone collected there rides, Fifi, Fowlmouth and Mary were there, the rest of the crowd were looking at Monty's new ride which was doing all manner of automated tricks while Max relished in the attention.

''I mean does his father not ever wonder where the hell all his moneys going?'' asked Adam idly as he unlocked his own.

''Hey say what you dadgum like stretch'' said Fowlmouth, ''at least he put some money towards it, yours looks like it's come right from a photo album in the dadgum attic''.

''Oh here we go'' said Adam exasperated, ''he ain't that old!''

''He?'' questioned Mary.

Adam shrugged, ''why not?''

''Anyway'' continued Fowlmouth, ''didn't you just have a dadgum TV episode to yourself? Why didn't you see that guy on the TV ad? Bicycle Bob?''

''Same reason I don't swim in piranha tanks'' said Adam flatly, ''at some point in the very near future you regret it dearly!''

''Vhat make iz eet?'' asked Fifi.

Adam smiled at that, ''Raleigh, same country of origin as me!''

''Is that the only reason you got it?'' asked Fowlmouth who was getting a little too smarmy for Adams liking.

''Course not'' said Adam, ''that was an actual coincidence, I just got it home when I saw this'' he said pointing at the engrave, the 3 looked at it and Fowlmouth laughed.

''1953?'' he laughed and leaned on the rack with one hand gripping the bars, ''if you take that on the race it'll fall to bits before it even makes it past the first hill!''

Adam frowned, suddenly the front wheel of his bike jerked around, the handlebars whipped through the air and sharply collided with the bike rack.

Or they would have done, had Fowlmouth's fingers not been there instead.

The rooster leapt back and predictably started making all sorts of bleeps and bloops as his swearing was censored before glaring at Adam.

''I never done it!'' Adam shouted quickly.

''Iz true, he vaz at ze rear'' said Fifi vouching for him.

Fowlmouth scowled and waved his fingers in the air a little, ''yeah well that just proves it's a health hazard too! These old things should be retired!''

Adam went to fire back but stopped, then smiled, ''tell you what'' he said before jerking a thumb at the school, ''why don't you back inside and tell that to our 50-odd year old teacher? Our 50-odd year old rabbit teacher?''

Fowlmouth froze up before he chuckled nervously, ''well... there are some exceptions''

He made a quick exit and Adam smirked wickedly, ''that shut him up'' he noted.

''Then it's one of the few things that can'' said Mary slipping on her roller-skates.

Fifi looked over his bike with curiosity ''vhy did vou buy such a how-you-say... older model?''

''it was just there, truth be told I didn't expect to find it but when I did I knew I had to have it, all it took was a bit of fixing up and the old fella was right as rain''.

''Did you fix it up yourself?'' asked Mary.

''Some of it, Calamity helped me out with some of the more complex parts'' he admitted.

Suddenly there was a commotion and they looked at Monty's bike which was doing back flips and landing neatly on its front wheel in a balancing act.

''Bet you losers and your bikes can't do this!'' he cackled.

''Why would I want to?'' asked Adam dryly as he reversed back and sat down on the seat, Mary skated around him and Fifi plucked a purple bike from the rack, ''you got a bike Mary?''

''Yeah, but I'm more of a skater myself'' she said confirming this with a smooth pirouette, ''I'm going to be the announcer instead''.

''good call, I get the feeling this ain't gonna go too well'' said Adam glancing none-too-subtly at Monty behind them who was still showing off, this time bragging about his bikes on-board milkshake maker.

''Iz true, I do not trust heem to race fair'' said Fifi looking back at the human toon boy.

''We have added security'' said Mary as she skated in circles around them, ''all the bikes are being checked beforehand for any cheats, after Monty's election stunt Buster made sure to take extra precautions''.

''the fact he's allowed to enter full stop is ridiculous'' said Adam, ''he buys his way back into the school, he buys an ultra... sleek... future... bike thing'' he lamely stated not exactly sure the make or name of Monty's bike, ''again, where's his dad and why hasn't he chopped up his bank cards by now?!''

''Monty owns a lot of his own businesses'' stated Mary as she did a figure 8 between the two animal toons, ''a lot fail but some carry on''.

''So even eef Monty's père did, how-you-say, cut heem off'' said Fifi, ''he vould still have money''.

Adam had to concede at that, Monty had used his father's money to secure his own fortunes, ''so he isn't as thick as he acts then'' he noted lowly.

Monty was busy riding backwards in circles.

''I better go'' said Mary, ''I've got to practice my lines for the race, see you guys later''.

Both bid her goodbye and she skated off.

''Aye I'd better shoot off an' all'' said Adam re-adjusting himself on his bike seat, ''only just restored this lad, better double check he can race''.

''Oui, eet iz best, vhy not take ze long vay home? Give eet a real run?''

''That's actually a belting idea lass'' said Adam, ''which way you going?''

Fifi lived in an opposite direction to Adams own home so they bid goodbye and he pushed off waving behind him as he did, but he made sure to mount the curb with his bike very carefully.

It had no suspension.

but other than that Adam found both his and Calamity's efforts had worked well, the bike didn't resist in anyway and ran very smoothly, the steel frame had some weight to it but that just made it coast all the better.

That or the oil.

The long way home took him through some more scenic parts of Acme Acres including the park, he struggled a little on some hills but was able to get up a lot of speed on the downward slopes, the heavy bike and smooth running gave it a lot of momentum so he had to carefully use his brakes.

unfortunately he was not the only one putting his bike through his paces, something he found out in the park, he was just riding along the pathway when something gleaming white came up from behind him and shot by much too close on his right hand side making him nearly lose control and veer off the path, brakes screaming he juddered to a stop and looked up to see Monty cackling.

''Nice riding rabbit! Want me to give you the training wheels off my tricycle?! Hah!''

Adam re-righted himself on his bike, ''oh do one yer spoilt bas-''

'PAAAAAAAAARP!'

Adam winced as Monty blew his horn at him again and shot off laughing rudely.

For a few moments he stood there massaging his poor ears, ''really dislike that kid'' he muttered and pushed off again riding carefully along.

He didn't notice his rear lamp, glowing red.


Saturday came around soon enough and Adam woke up early that day, he double and triple checked everything on his bike making sure every bolt and nut was screwed tight, made sure he had his racing form and then oiled all the motion

''Between you and me'' he said idly as he got outside, ''I get a sinking feeling about today''.

He didn't know what possessed him to say that to his bike but he thought nothing of it as he coasted down the hill his burrow resided on and pedalled off down the road.

It wasn't long before he reached the races starting line, it wasn't hard to find, lots of spectators and racers were all there mulling around, Adam saw a large white tent labelled 'Contestants' so figured that's where he should go.

Obviously.

Sylvester was manning a stand by the entrance, Adam gave him his form and got handed a number,

He half expected it to be 13 given his luck but was relieved when he found it was actually the same as his student I.D, 21.

He was given a square piece of paper with his number that was taped to his back before wheeling his bike inside.

There was a lot of other bikes in there, the floor had a grid painted on it and each square had a number that corresponded to a rider, Adam wheeled his bike over to where his number lay and put down his kick-stand with a clunk-click.

''So ya actually showed up on dat thing?''.

Adam sighed and looked behind him, hIs spot was inbetween Plucky and Shirley,

No prizes for guessing which of the two had spoken.

The mallard walked over and gave Adams bike a look over, ''pretty sure we did this routine yesterday'' Adam remarked as he folded his arms, ''and it ended with you clinging to a lamp post''.

Plucky struggled to retort while Shirley looked knowingly at the two, she hadn't even been there and yet she knew Adam was telling the truth.

''Well it wasn't because of him!'' Plucky said to her crossly jerking a thumb at the orange rabbit, ''and I'm still right, that ride of yours should be in a museum''.

''Oh lay off Plucky''.

The 3 looked over as Buster and Babs walked up, Babs having spoken, ''even if it's old it runs okay''.

''Aye Calamity and me spent nearly the whole week fixing it up, and I didn't put a load of that cra- rubbish on it!''

Adam was gesturing at the gaudy flames and stripes that Plucky had plastered all over his dark green bike, in rather a slap dash manner, he also noted they weren't there yesterday.

''What's with the stickers?'' asked Babs.

''Well if they work for Monty's they can work for mine''.

Sighing through his nose Adam rolled his eyes, ''saw that coming''.

''Like, where is Monty anyway?'' asked Shirley.

'PAAAAAAAAARP!'

They jumped and winced as Monty arrived right on cue.

''I mean, you couldn't have jinxed that any harder if you tried'' said Adam flatly to Shirley.

''Make way peasants!'' snapped Monty as he wheeled his bike into the tent and into a grid square not far from their own where he activated its own kick stand.

Two metal feet extended out and kicked the contestants in the neighbouring squares out of the way before stamping firmly on the ground, he smirked and stomped over.

''You lousy flew bitten rodents don't stand a chance!'' he cackled, ''I'm surprised you all had the guts to show up!''

''Save the trash talk till the finish line Monty'' said Buster, ''a flashy bike isn't all you need for a race!''

''That's what you think rabbit!'' said Monty, ''but you ain't seen what my bike can do!''

''It doesn't matter what tricks you have planned Monty'' said Babs, ''anything against the rules and you get disqualified in the inspections!''

''You don't scare me rabbit!'' snapped Monty, ''my rides fully within the rules, you can't do a thing!''

''I wouldn't say that'' said Babs pulling out a mallet.

A rather ugly (although no doubt highly entertaining) scene was prevented by a bell sound, ''all racers present'' said Sylvester's voice on the tannoy system, ''please make your way into waiting are outside while your bikes are inspected''.

The racers did so and traipsed through an opening in the opposite end of the tent into a grassy area where water and orange slices were being handed out by granny.

''Hey lord applebury'' said Monty to the one English toon among them before gesturing to granny, ''now's your chance to return your bike!''

Adam ignored him and pretended he hadn't even spoken instead making conversation with the others, a man walked through the crowd of young toons and made his way to the tent entrance carrying a clipboard and wearing a suit.

''Good afternoon children'' he said stiffly, ''I'm inspector fowler, I shall be inspecting your none motorised vehicles this morning''.

''In English?'' asked Babs.

Adam grinned seeing an opportunity, ''ee's gonna check we ain't doin' owt we should'-ni be doing wi' our bikes lass'' he said in an overly-put on version of his natural accent.

This garnered a few giggles and chuckles but the inspector wasn't amused, he didn't show much emotion at all really, ''yes, quite, if you prefer'' he said, ''I will mark all bikes as suitable or none suitable, none-suitable bikes shall be disqualified''.

And without another word he disappeared inside.

seeing as though he'd be racing Adam went and grabbed a water and orange wedge before they disappeared, although he needn't have bothered, funnily enough Hampton wasn't all that keen on a table of fresh oranges.

That's not to say he didn't stomach 8.

As they waited for the inspector to finish his checks Mary walked through the group on her way to the announcer stands wearing her Acme Looniversity newscaster outfit, ''alreyt Mary'' greeted Adam as he noted her, ''looking forward to it?''

''eh, same old same old'' she said, ''but it's you guys who oughta be careful, you'll all be out there with that'' she said gesturing to Max who was bragging to some reporters.

''Aye well, I've learned to keep a wide birth from him'' noted Adam as he took a bite of his orange,

Buster noted the inspectors time, ''jeez, how long does it take tah inspect a few bikes?''

''their's a fair few of us'' said Adam, ''lot of bikes in there after all, just make sure Monty stays in your line of sight''.

''Do you really think he'll figure out a way to cheat?'' asked Hampton slightly concerned.

Babs scoffed, ''I'd be surprised if he didn't''.

Just then the tent opened up and the inspector walked out, he spoke to an announcer who then addressed the group.

''All inspections finished! All racers to their bikes and proceed to the starting line!''

Adam down his water and planted the empty glass firmly back on the table, ''right! Here we go!'' he said with a clap of his hands.

Mary quickly ran off to the announcer stand wishing them good luck as she left before they piled back through into the tent.

''Mr Montana, I would like a word with you''.

Max stopped and scowled at the inspector, ''what!?''

''I want to ask you about some of the things I found on your vehicle, I do not believe they are above the board as they were''.

''I knew it!'' said Babs,

Buster grinned, ''Sorry Max, told ya I'd taken precautions'' as they disappeared inside the tent.

Max frowned angrily up at the inspector, ''well?!''

The inspector glared down at him before peering in through the flap at the others seeing them head to their bikes, then back at Max.

''Alright you little brat, I did my part now where's my dough?''

Max grinned and pulled out cheque, the inspector made to grab it but Max pulled it away, ''first I want evidence''.

The inspector pulled out a see through baggie from his pocket revealing a number of tools such as spanners, wrenches and wire cutters and collection of assorted nuts and bolts.

''I guarantee you'll be the only one to cross that finish line'' said the inspector.

''I better be!'' snapped Monty as he thrusted the cheque into the man's hand who greedily pocketed it, then Max resumed his scowl and stomped inside.

Babs noticed his return, ''what are you doing here?''

''Lousy inspector! He thought my boom box was some sort of cheat!'' he said angrily storming to his bike.

''Boom box?'' asked Hampton.

Adam stuck his fingers in his ears, ''idiot'' he muttered.

he proved correct in doing this when Max pressed a button on his bike and a large boom box looking twice the size of the bike unfurled from the back and promptly blasted a guitar riff at everyone on the tent.

Thankfully before it could go on too long the announcer from before reminded them to take their positions on the starting line.

Adam nervously wheeled his bike outside along with the others, it rolled smoothly at first but then as they reached the tent exit it juddered and resisted for a moment.

''c'mon lad don't fail me now'' Adam whispered/prayed as he gave it a harder push to get it rolling again, unaware that his rear lamp was flashing red, Hampton was behind him and saw this, taking it to mean 'stop' he did and ended up with Fifi and Calamity colliding into him.

Adam didn't notice however and as the crowds cheered them onto the starting line he didn't hear the commotion behind him, too focused on not doing anything wrong he went to where he found his number marked on the road, the pavement was marked off by barriers sporting various logos of business's Adam supposed had sponsored this whole shabang.

as he pulled up on his spot his handlebar jerked and he veered to the side, he had to pull it back and try again to manage to line it up, he did and quickly checked his steering but it was fine, he was again distracted though as Marys voice came over the tannoy.

''Hello! And welcome to the first annual Acme Acres bicycle gala!'' she called into the mic with her best announcer voice, ''we have a fine turnout for our first ever race today!''

It was quite a fine turnout, barring one who I'm sure you can guess.

Montana was nearby, as he lined up he grinned, ''Computer, activate autopilot!''

Buster was close and heard this, ''hey! You can't have self propelled bikes in the race!''

Max cackled, ''I know the rules rabbit, but you never said anything about self steering bikes!''

Several lights flickered on the front of Max's bike and the handles gyrated a moment before an automated voice called out, ''Autopilot Engaged''.

Adam huffed and turned around, ''yep, there it is'' he muttered.

If only that was all there was.

He had a good look at the race track while he waited, a map for which was on a billboard nearby, it started off on a small hill which they were on right now and then levelled out, then there was a big upward slope but the rest of it seemed mostly downhill, albeit with a few sharp turns.

'seems simple enough, just don't go mad' he thought to himself making sure his number on his back was secure then stretching his legs and arms a little, as he did he saw a few kids pointing at him and waving, nervously he waved back seeing some of the parents encourage this and wave too, he was a little confused.

''Zey must have seen vour debut''.

Adam turned as Fifi spoke from where her spot was behind him.

''Damn I just about forgot that'' he noted as realisation set in, he waved again and the crowd seemed to like it.

He on the other hand wasn't quite sure how to feel.

''The race shall begin in less than a minute!'' announced Mary, ''all racers are advised to prepare themselves and all spectators reminded to keep at a safe distance and keep clear of restricted zones''.

Everyone quickly mounted their bicycles, as Adam did his juddered backwards away from the start so he quickly pushed it back.

''Everyone the race is about to begin!'' called Mary, ''racers! On their marks!''

Adam's heart thudded in his chest and he placed his foot on the pedal ready, he saw everyone making determined faces.

Except Monty, less said about the face he made the better.

''Get set!''

'Here we go, here we go, here we go' he thought a he tried to look determined as well but he started to have doubts about his chances.

Too late now.

''GO!''

A horn sounded and everyone pushed off, instantly there was a flurry of motion as everyone raced to get a good lead, Adam was just trying to keep a safe distance from everyone else as they squabbled for positions, he pedalled hard as they raced down the hill getting up a good speed, the weight of his bike came in handy here for momentum as he careened down the hill and onto the level part, spectators cheered them on as they raced, seeing he had a good start he began to get more into it, seeing Fowlmouth coming up on his rear he grinned and turned blocking his path and pedalled harder, keeping the distance between the two, but Calamity sailed past going much faster on his own bike, Adam guessed chasing little beeper all the time had given him the leg muscles needed for this sort of thing.

''we're off to a good start folks as the racers clamour for positions, up front we have Buster and Monty battling for the lead, Calamity coyote is making a beeline up the sides to give them a run for their money, Hampton and Plucky are both making a steady pace towards the rear and in the middle Fowlmouth Fifi Adam and Shirley are fighting between positions!''

It was true, everyone was jostling for positions and it was accelerating, Adam saw Fifi give a burst of speed as she advanced forward but he held back just pedalling enough to keep to momentum he had built up at a high level, saving his energy for the hill that was coming up.

He did however make sure to not be in Fifi's slipstream, for obvious reasons.

Something Dizzy didn't consider as he got caught in her green tailwind and began coughing and retching nearly losing control of his own bike and falling behind.

Up ahead Monty continually blocked Busters efforts to pull into the lead, Babs was trying to catch up but Calamity was pulling ahead of her, Adam was maintaining the distance between him and Fowlmouth and simultaneously seeing if he could catch up to Shirley but withheld in case she was saving her efforts for the hill too.

As they neared the base of the hill Adam began pedalling hard and accelerated fast as he attacked the hill, his momentum carried him up but as he began tiring he saw Shirley pulling away so stood on the pedals, Fowlmouth was faring worse though and the gap widened between them, Fifi was pulling ahead though and was closing the gap between herself and Shirley.

Monty's bike however had changed gears and made it easy for the brat to pedal, he didn't even have his hands on the handles as he pedalled instead crossing them smugly on his chest as he looked back at Buster who was pedalling hard and panting up behind him.

''Hah! See rabbit! No tricks! I'm just better than you!'' he cackled.

Buster didn't reply, saving his breath for his efforts.

Babs however was quick to reply as she began catching up, ''it's your bike doing all the work! If a pile of metal and circuits is better than you then what's the point of even having a rider!''

''To rub it in your smug faces rabbits!'' snapped Monty as he pedalled harder and moved on up the hill, Buster was falling behind but Calamity was coming in hot as he pedalled after them, pink high tops a blur as he pedalled hard.

Plucky and Hampton were trailing far behind as Adam glanced back at them, Plucky was red in the face and slowly making his way up, ''sheesh! When did they make hills so vertical!''

Hampton looked like he was about to collapse from dehydration.

Adam normally would have felt a little sorry but he was focused on not being the odd one out, he knew he wouldn't finish first but so long as he wasn't last or in the last half then he would be happy!

Finally they crested the hill and Max zoomed off down the other side, Calamity was in hot pursuit as Buster and Babs quickly followed after, Shirley and Fifi came up over the hill followed by Adam and Fowlmouth and then a trailing Hampton and Plucky.

Adam breathed in easier as he laid off the pedalling as he began to head down the other side, speed increased dramatically as they began heading down the other side, aside from a few small hills the track was mostly downhill after this and as they began to coast down Fifi finally managed to overtake Shirley.

Then, it happened.

Fifi's back wheel wobbled violently and her chain came undone as something metal fell off with a clatter as it hit the tarmac.

''It looks like Fifi's having trouble!'' called Mary, ''her rear bolt has come loose and her chain has come undone! If she has any hopes of finishing she need to regain control!''

But her loose back wheel was making her bike impossible to steer, and as Adam watched in shock Shirley's bike began to have issues as well, her pedals completely falling away and her bike jarring violently as the front wheel was knocked out of centre then came completely undone rolling ahead of its bike of its own accord leaving Shirley in a wheelie she couldn't come out of!

''Shirley's either pulling off an incredible stunt or we have another case of mechanical failure! But either way things aren't looking good on the race track!'' called Mary.

'You're not on the damn thing lass!' Adam thought but he had bigger problems as Shirley's free front wheel clipped the side of the road and bounced back right across it in front of them, Adam just barely managed to avoid it as it fell away behind them.

one by one other bikes began falling apart, Fowlmouth's handlebars came loose leaving him unable to steer properly and that sent him veering all over the course, Babs bike split in half as the bolts holding it together came loose leaving her on a unicycle like remainder, the rest began losing and shedding parts like fleas.

Adam was horrified, so far his hadn't fallen apart but he knew he had to stop before it did, suddenly Fifi's wheel completely came loose and as the frame hit the ground it completely fell sending her sprawling, Adam instantly applied to his brakes to stop and help.

Nothing happened.

there was no pressure on the little levers at all, they jiggled limply on his handles, he scanned down the small cables entwined round his bike and saw where the wires were exposed on the front part of the frame.

Each one had been cleanly cut through.

He had no brakes.

On a mostly downhill course on one of the biggest hills in acme acres, he had no brakes.

It's a good job Adam was going so fast otherwise some of the spectators might have heard what he said, which I can assure you was far from pleasant.

His bike wasn't falling apart and his brakes seemed the only thing gone, the reason for this was the inspector hadn't had time to do a full sabotage on all the bikes and seeing as his had been last a quick swipe at the brake lines had been all he had done to it, but Adam had no time to dwell on that now, he was going far too fast now to safely stop or jump clear and he was only increasing speed, his heavy steel bike gaining momentum more and more, a fact Adam now regretted dearly.

''OUT THE WAY! NO BRAKES! NO BRAKES!'' he screamed as he tried to slow down, but his mind was blank with panic and preventing him from conjuring some sort of toon trick, he could only hold tight and keep his balance as much as he could.

Buster glared at Monty as his bike wobbled and clattered as parts fell off, ''Monty you rat! You did this!''

Monty just cackled, ''Try and prove it looser!'' he snapped.

A bend was coming up in the track, Monty's autopilot guided him around it at high speed without the billionaire even breaking a sweat.

The others weren't so lucky.

Buster managed to just skirt round the bend as well as Calamity, but the rest sailed straight off the bend, the bends had been marked as restricted areas which was lucky as the young toons crashed through the barriers and into the bushes beyond, Shirley got up sputtering as Babs burst through the foliage irate, ''that ratfink! He sabotaged us!'' she snapped.

Fowlmouth kicked violently from where his top half was lodged in a tree trunk, a cacophony of bleeps and swears coming from inside which were (thankfully) muffled, the rest of the toons were sprawled out in the bushes aside from Fifi who was traipsing down the hill angrily muttering in French.

I won't translate it.

Suddenly Shirley looked up at the race track, ''Like, Incoming!'' she cried, the others looked and saw a green and orange blur heading at them and braced themselves.

''GET OUT OF THE WAAAAY!''

Adam hollered as his wheels ground on the pavement and his bearings screamed as he turned as best as he could, feeling the pressure and the g-force on his handles as he hurtled round the bend just managing to stay on the race course but going far too fast, the others watched as he tore off down the track.

''We have a wipe-out on the first bend! Babs bunny, Fowlmouth, Shirley and Dizzy are out of the race! Adam has just managed to stay in but if he has any hope for the bends ahead then he needs to regain control of his speed!'' called Mary.

''Like, he'll never make the rest of the course going that fast!'' Shirley said watching him go.

Babs peered after him, ''no but he might end up in Guinness World Records''.

''LOOK OUT''

They looked up and dove out the way as two figures crashed through the bikes and tumbled through nearly every bush.

''And Hampton and Plucky are out of the race!'' called Mary.

Down the track Adam was not having fun, he was terrified, crashing a bike at high speeds was extremely unpleasant, something he'd found out when he was younger and a car had backed out of a driveway right in front of him and he'd lost most of the skin on his arm, and as he hit the straight he began increasing speed again.

Further down the track Buster was struggling to both maintain his bikes integrity and keep up with Max, Calamity was having a better job of keeping up his speed but his bike was shaking as each loosened bolt turned his bike into jelly.

Max was cruising along in front of them, in truth he could have very easily raced to the finish leaving them far behind.

But then how could he gloat?

''Having trouble vermin?'' he cackled, just then a slight curve in the track came up, nothing really but with Busters and Calamity's bikes in such a sorry state it was hard to navigate, Max didn't even look, smiling smugly with his eyes closed as he pedalled and the handles turned on their own.

They weren't the only ones who made it, an orange blur whizzed by rapidly catching them up.

Meanwhile a steeper bend was coming up for the 3 in front, Monty wasn't fazed though, instead seeing a new opportunity to show off.

''Hey you dweebs! Watch this!'' he shouted and pressed a button, ''computer! Activate drift mode!''

''Drift mode activated''.

Monty's bike instantly turned and began skidding sideways down the hill preparing for the bend as it leaned to its side to stay balanced.

''Eat my dust ya lousy fracken-''

''WATCH OUT!''

All three looked back and saw an orange bunny on a black bicycle going way too fast, Adam tried frantically to steer clear of the three but his handles tore themselves out of his grasp and locked directly onto the human toon, its tail lamp glowing red as it accelerated forwards.

''Adams coming in like a rocket! Everyone get clear!'' cried Mary.

Monty's computer began flashing warnings, ''Emergency collision warning! Evasive manu-manuver failiu-caution danger evacuate oh no-''

''STOP YA STUPID RABBIT! STOOOOOOP! AAGHHH!''

Adam didn't stop.

He couldn't stop.

And he hurtled right at Monty.

Here are a few facts.

Monty's bike was made of a super light fibreglass alloy designed for minimum wind resistance and easy maneuverability.

Adams was Steel.

Monty's bike had a built in sat-nav and autopilot to allow for Maximum ease and time keeping when getting from A to B.

Adams was heavy.

Monty's was currently in a drift that gave a wider target for any sort of inconvenience.

Adams was going very fast.

There's a scene from 'Back To The Future II' where Doc and Marty chase Biff in the Delorean and Doc notes that his 1946 Ford would cut through them life tinfoil.

Based on all of this I'm sure you can figure where this was going.

Adams bike collided full force with Monty's, Monty's bike wasn't damaged...

It. Was. Obliterated.

Monty screamed as he flew through the air as his bike shattered into pieces, Adams own bike ripping it apart as its fibreglass shell burst and sent pieces of metal, fibreglass, circuitry and wires in every direction, two battered wheels flopping to the ground where it had been, Monty flew straight into a trees canopy where his jumpsuit caught a branch and left him dangling upside down, where he instantly began tantruming.

To no-one's surprise.

Adams bike shot onwards though towards the bend.

At this point I'm sure you think you've figured the end of this story, Adam wins the race and everyone appreciates his old bike at last and there's a big celebration, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

But things never go exactly right for Adam, as I've proven many times.

His bike had not come through unscathed, his front wheel now had a small dent in it which at high speeds was the last thing needed, this bike juddered and shook as he neared the bend and he finally lost control, his front wheel struck the curb with a horrendous jolt and buckled hard, Adam flew over the handles and sailed through the air into the bushes that lined the bend, his bike landing similarly in a semi-softened sort of manner.

Buster and Calamity managed to curve the bend however.

''And Adam and Monty are out of the race! It looks its between Calamity and Buster now!''

Calamity grinned and pedalled hard, his bike may be unstable but he was a good athlete, plus he had had enough inventions fall apart mid-usage to know how to handle it.

Buster however was still a good athlete himself, he just had a harder time keeping his deteriorating bike stable.

''Its neck and neck between the two final racers!'' called Mary excitedly, ''Busters in the lead but Calamity has the advantage, he's slowly overtaking!''

Calamity's bike was slowly creeping up past Busters own into the lead position, carrying on until he was ahead by a wheels width,

''Calamity's got the lead! The finish lines coming up! It's a photo finish!''

The ribbon across the line stretched before them, Calamity pedalled hard and with a furious final effort his front wheel broke the ribbon!

''CALAMITY HAS WON!'' shouted Mary, the two boys braked hard and as they stopped their bikes promptly fell apart leaving them sat on a pile of metal pipes and wheels, but Calamity was still smiling as he stood back up, Buster gave him a handshake as he accepted he had lost and Calamity was handed a medal.

Meanwhile back up the hill the rest of the toons had just made it to Adams crash site, his bike was lying on top of a bush pretty much intact aside from the front wheel being mangled, but there was no sign of the rabbit himself.

''Well no surprises here'', said Babs as she looked at Adams cut brake lines.

''I'm surprised he lasted so long'' noted Hampton.

Plucky kicked a bit of fibreglass, ''at least he didn't go down alone''.

They peered back at Monty where officials were trying to get him down as he shouted and raged, they weren't having the best of luck.

Calamity and Buster walked back up, Calamity now sporting a glimmering medal round his neck, ''congratulations monsieur coyote'' greeted Fifi, Calamity said nothing as always but beamed all the same.

''How's Adam doing?'' asked Buster.

At that moment Adam stood up out of one of the bushes, he looked wide eyed and tight lipped.

Babs took a moment to observe this, ''not good'' she said simply.

''HEY!''

They all looked over as Monty stomped over, his jumpsuit was torn and he had twigs sticking out from under his helmet, the windscreen of which was cracked, ''YOU LOUSEY RACKEN FRACKEN TOONS! YOU PLANNED THAT ON PURPOSE!''

''Oh yeah?! Like how you sabotaged all out bikes?!'' snapped Babs in response, everyone glaring at the human toon.

Except Adam who continued to stare wide eyed into space as he slowly walked through the bushes.

''Ya can't prove anything rabbit!'' snapped Monty! ''Just you wait! I'll sue da lotta ya!''

At this Plucky gulped, ''hey hey hey! He's the one who turned your bike into confetti!'' he said jerking a thumb at Adam who was still silent and still slowly walking towards the track.

''Ya lousy varmit!'' shouted Max addressing the one Brit among them, ''I'll sue ya to heck and back! I'll take every penny! YOU BROKE MY BIKE!''

Adam didn't say anything, he didn't even look at Max, he just continued to walk stiffly towards the track, wide glossy eyes staring into space.

''Adam?'' Buster tried, waving a hand by Adams face, gaining no response.

''Is monsieur hurt?'' asked Fifi a little worried.

Adam said nothing.

''Adam? Are you okay?'' asked Hampton, but the rabbit just continued to slowly walk out of the bushes.

''Adam what's wrong?'' asked Babs worried.

Adam finally emerged from the bushes, his bottom half becoming visible, his legs had stretched upwards and his mid-section had compressed leaving him the same height but very malformed.

He finally looked at the group with his wide unblinking eyes and spoke, his voice sounding like he'd just inhaled a zeppelins worth of helium.

''I think they're in my stomach!''

As he stiffly walked over to the medical tent every male present, even Monty, winced hard and watched him go, subtly trying to cross their legs at the same time.

Like I've said many times before about Adams bike,

It had no suspension.


After that this tale pretty much wrapped up.

The race was declared a success (Albeit with some incidents) and so Busters presidency was unharmed.

Monty got found out when a very irate inspector found his cheque had been rigged to bounce like a space hopper, losing his license in the process, and Monty was forced to pay for replacement parts and repairs for each and every bike he'd had sabotaged.

His own bike was not replaced, but he did have to pick up the parts for environmental reasons.

Calamity got his photo in the schools hall as the first bike gala winner, and there was a group shot of them all at the starting line before they had all raced which ended up there too.

They had been hoping for one afterwards but that wouldn't have been much of an inspiring photo considering the state everyone had been left in.

Adam had escaped serious injury and after a bit of physical therapy and toon healing was more or less okay, and more importantly (to him anyway) his downstairs department would be fine.

The octave of his voice however took a few hours to come back down, something Plucky found hilarious when he tried ordering at Weenieburger afterwards.

When he threatened to give Plucky a similar voice he stopped.

His bike however had put up with the damage and after a new front wheel and replacement brakes had been good as new.

Adam was on the phone with Buster a few of days later, ''I'm glad Calamity won'' he noted, ''lad needs a break now and then''.

''Ya needed a brake on that hill'' joked Buster.

Adam smiled, ''aye good one'' he said, ''ah well, next time you host something like this please god just outright ban the little sod from entering''.

''I can try but he always finds a way in'' noted Buster.

''He's like that weird black mold'' said Adam, ''or termites''.

''Somethink' like that'' agreed Buster, ''hey we're gonna take our bikes round the park, wanna come?''

At this Adam looked over at his bike resting by the ladder, he hadn't ridden it since the race, as much as he was happy it had been fixed...

Adam tried to casually place one leg in front of the other in a cross, ''it's... still a bit too soon'' he said, trying to keep his voice level, ''give it the rest of the week''.

''I get ya'' said Buster, ''oh boy do I get ya''.

Both said goodbye and hung up, Adam strolled over to his bike and patted the headlamp, ''sorry lad, we'll get there soon''.

The bike was silent.

Adam turned and walked away, as he did the lamp he passed flickered making him look, then with a spark and bang it went out in a poof of smoke.

''Aw yer cheap lousy piece of crap'' he muttered as he looked it over.

''Hey you!''

Adam jumped and span around with his fists up thinking someone was in his home.

''You there! Need a light?''

His eyes span to the TV where he saw the voice was coming from the television, where a thin man with suspenders and a gold tooth was talking to the screen.

''Then come to Lumination Larry's house of best quality lamps and-''

The ad crackled and the screen cut out as Adam unplugged the TV, he quickly grabbed the phone and re-rang Buster, ''ey Buster mate, that bike riding lark? I'm in!''

He arranged to meet up and grabbed his bike, ''change of plans lad let's get out of here!''

He carried it outside through the porthole, don't ask me how, and set off towards the park.

His bike coasted easily down the hill and onto the pavement, its wheels whirring as it did,

If Adam didn't know better he would have said the noise sounded happy.


And there we have it! A little bit of a one-off chapter with maybe a few cheesy elements but i think it went pretty well, and even if it didn't you can't deny it was definitely a long one!

And that's it for the time being for this story, time to focus on LNL for a new chapter... I swear i can practically hear the collective cheer from you lot reading this.

I sincerely hope you all enjoyed it, the characterizations may fluctuate a bit but i am trying to give Adam a bit more of a backbone in gradual doses, he's used to the toon world by now but he still gets thrown by certain things.

As for RL its time to get me a proper job! and i wish that was easier but... 2020 has made things a bit complicated.

Here's hoping its going okay for you guys out there, remember to stay safe, stay sanitized, wear your mask (that means you Karen), keep a safe distance if you need to go out, and as always...

REVIEW!