How I Met Your Mother

"Son, it's your eighteenth birthday," an adult Tai placed his hand on his son's shoulder.

"Yes! Thank you, Dad! You're the best!"

"Why am I the best?" Tai gave his son an amused look.

"You got me that sports car, right?"

"..." Tai blinked. "No."

"Then why else would you say 'It's your eighteenth birthday, sonny boy!' like you're Grandpère?" Tai's son frowned.

"I'm not acting like your grandfather!" Tai said.

"Yeah, in order to act like him, you'd have to smell like 3 bottles of whiskey and have a girlfriend my age."

"Whoa buddy! Now that you're eighteen, you have now officially entered manhood. As a man, the rules have changed. Whatever you thought you knew, just empty it out of your head-"

"Dad...don't tell me that your birthday present is going to be a second puberty lecture," Tai's son groaned.

"No! It's better than that! Here," Tai handed his son a lottery slip.

"Hah, maybe if I get the numbers right, I'll win the friggin' jackpot," Tai's son rolled his eyes.

"Hey, if you inherited my luck, you might," Tai winked.

"What do you mean?" Tai's son looked down at his blank lottery slip.

"I'm gonna tell you the story of how I met your mother," Tai clutched on to a blue-and-white scarf.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tai's son crossed his arms.

"What if I told you that the nearly impossible happened to me? It all started when I was 25 years old. I was given a position at the UN, so I packed my bags, said Sayonara to Japan, and moved here to New York City. I lived there for a month, and I was still trying to settle in. I didn't have much of a social life, but it wasn't like I had anyone to hang out with. My coworkers were all old, stuffy people and I was probably the youngest diplomat there. Even when we had to attend special conferences, they never talked to me unless they really, extremely had to. They didn't bother to get to know me, and I didn't want to bother with them, so every day, I would go straight home from work. My daily routine was about the same: get up, get dressed, go to work, go home, sleep and repeat. But one day, I decided to do something different. It's kind of funny how one small change can shake up your whole life..."


There are about 8 million people who live in New York City. You know how I told you that I had some damn good luck? That's exactly what happened when I took a slight detour from my way back home. There was a tavern underneath my apartment building, so I decided to check it out. Partly because I was bored, but mostly because I had a bad day at work and there was nothing that I wanted to do more than to get drunk.

"I'll have a Nakasawa on tap, please," I said.

"Coming up."

I put my head on the bar, exhausted from all of the arguing at work. Let's just say everyone had a little disagreement over the status of Sealand's statehood, and while all of the old guys were okay with shoving their opinions down my throat, they refused to listen to any word I had to say on the matter. I could normally deal with their arguing, but that day, it just sucked all of the energy out of me. I didn't want to go straight home, but I didn't have anyone to hang out with at the time, so I decided to do the next best thing. The bar, the one place where you can drink by yourself and not look pathetic, unless you're spewing cheesy or sleazy pickup lines to some definitely uninterested babes.

"Here you go, a Nakasawa on ta-Tai?!"

"Joe? What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

"I work here...," Joe pushed his glasses up.

"You work here?" I repeated in shock.

"Yeah...," Joe said, looking anxious.

"Why? You're a bartender?" I shook my head.

"No, I just take care of the beer. I can't do fancy cocktails or whatever, like that girl," Joe tilted his head toward this petite redheaded girl. With one hand, she grabbed three huge bottles and started juggling them while she set up several glasses with the other hand. After a couple of juggles, twists, turns, bottle flips, the girl poured everything into a cocktail shaker and spun it on the top of her finger, like a basketball. She continued juggling the bottles, and put them back on the shelves where they belonged, all while keeping the cocktail shaker twirled at the top of her finger. She went back to the bar counter, flipped the shaker, opened it, and smoothly poured the concoction into the glasses.

"Whoooo!" a couple of girls howled and clapped.

"Wow, she's good," I nodded my head, impressed.

"Just a little too good. Not that I should be complaining," Joe said.

"Why do you say that?" I took a sip out of that beautiful, foamy brew.

"Well, the only reason they hired me was because they needed someone who was willing to serve the beer. She can do all of those fancy tricks and she knows how to make a bunch of cocktails, so she refuses to go back to pouring beer," Joe explained.

"That's cool, sounds like the dream," I nodded my head. "How can you work here and not drink everything?"

"Easy. All those med classes scared me out of drinking anything but red wine, and the occasional Bloody Mary," Joe said. "Red wine has antioxidants in it, so it's a little healthier than other types of liquor."

"Right...," I tapped my fingers against the bar counter.

"Hey Jim!" the redheaded girl elbowed Joe in the ribs. "I gotta make an Irish Car Bomb."

"Okay. I'll be back," Joe said to me before he fetched some beer for the obnoxious bartender. "And by the way, my name's Joe."

"Whatever you say, newbie!" the girl tapped her temple and flicked her finger in Joe's direction.

"So whatever happened to your dreams of being a doctor?" I asked.

"I'm in my last year of med school. My scholarship money took care of some of my school expenses, but not everything," Joe shrugged. "So what are you doing? Did you get recruited into Manchester United?"

"No, I'm not a soccer superstar. I'm actually working at the UN now," I said.

"Wow. I never expected you to have a serious job," Joe said. In fact, he's not the only one. Hard to believe this son, but I was a totally different person growing up. Back then, I was a goofball who never thought before he acted, and I had a slight tendency to be bossy-


"Slight tendency?" Tai's son raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Tai said.

"To wrap it all up, I was a fun person. Sure, I acted like an idiot a lot-"

"You still do."

"Look kid, just because you're eighteen doesn't mean you can mouth off at me," Tai said.

"But even though I acted like a moron, it was probably the only time I truly had some fun. I guess somewhere along the line, I started becoming more "mature". I don't know why or how, but my personality did a complete 180 and I never felt so miserable."


"Yeah, I never expected a job like that either," I droned.

"Hey hey hey!"

Joe waved and I turned around to see my favorite blond brothers. Matt looked like he just came back from a workout, while TK looked like Portland threw up on him. "Hey! Is that you?!" Matt's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, it's me alright," I said.

"Tai!" Matt ran up and gave me a tight hug. "Holy crap? What are you doing in New York? And why are you wearing a suit? And holy shit, you cut your hair!"

"Hi, how are you doing?" TK shyly smiled at me.

"Matt...you're suffocating me," I struggled to speak.

"Oh, sorry," Matt let go of me. "How 'bout we get a table?" he asked Joe.

"Okay," Joe walked out from behind the counter. As he led us to an empty booth, I couldn't help but to be shocked. Running into one friend is rare, but reunited with three of them? I had to be dreaming; there's no way a coincidence like this can happen.

"Hello, earth to Tai...," Matt waved his hand up and down my face.

"Sorry," I shook my head and snapped back to reality.

"It's really good to see you again," TK chuckled. "How have you been?"

"I've been doing alright," I shrugged. "So what are you guys doing in New York?"

"I've been studying English at Brooklyn College," TK said. I guess that explained his hipster look.

"And I just came to visit him. I only planned to stay for the summer, but then this dude from Battery Juice asked if I wanted to be an astronaut and I was like 'Sure, why the hell not?'. It's not like I was going to school at the time," Matt said.

"That's right. So, how'd the band take it?" I asked. You see, while most of us were packing up and heading to universities, Matt decided he wanted to go further with his band and try to start a music career. Obviously, it didn't turn out as well as he planned.

"After I told the guys, they definitely weren't too happy with me. Not too long after I left the band, our drummer also decided to quit because he became a daddy. The bassist and lead guitarist were the only ones left at that point, and since they had some creative differences, Teenage Wolves became extinct," Matt said.

"It was probably for the best. A band full of 20-something's who call themselves the Teenage Wolves is...creepy," TK grimaced.

"Shut up, you dork!" Matt pinched the skin of TK's arm.

"Eeeeppp!" TK yelped.

"Hey! TK's right," I said. A lot of things changed about me, but one thing that would stay the same is my love for pissing Matt off.

"Gah, you made me lose my train of thought," TK rubbed his arm.

"What's that?" I pointed at what appeared to be a bunch of scrap paper held together by a binder ring.

"Nothing really, just writing some stuff," TK turned red.

"It's his whittle diah-wee, where he whites down all his dirty whittle see-quits!" Matt mocked.

"Knock it off," TK nudged him. "I just like writing in my free time. Hopefully, I can publish my own book one day."

"Fairy," Matt poked TK in the cheek.

"Stop it. I'm not in a good mood," TK slapped Matt's hand away.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing much. I just got a really bad grade on a paper, someone stole my bike, I accidently dropped some really hot ass coffee on my lap, I lost my rent money, and now Matt's fucking around with me again," TK pressed his lips together.


Earlier that day...

"Mr. Takaishi, can I speak to you?"

"Sure, what's up?" TK adjusted his canvas tote bag.

"I just wanted to hand this to you in person," the professor handed him a folder. "If you want to stay in the accelerated English program, you might want to hand in some quality material instead of this pure crap. You're not in high school anymore. If you want, you can revise this and drop it in my mailbox by Friday. I don't do this for just anyone, so I suggest you take full advantage of this chance."

"Thanks," TK took the folder. He waited until the professor walked away before opening the folder. A huge red U was scrawled on the front page. "Unsatisfactory? Even an F would be better," he groaned.

*clink* Someone broke off TK's lock and rode off with his Schwinn Stingray.

"Hey! That's my bike!" TK hollered. He chased after the guy, but he was too slow.

*plop*

"Aww, crap!" TK stopped in his tracks. His bag ripped on the bottom and all of his things fell out. "Alright there, TK. It can't get any worse from here. I'll just relax and grab a cup of coffee," he said to himself as he gathered up his belongings. He cradled his stuff in his arms and walked over to the campus cafe cart.

"What would you like?" the vendor asked.

"I'll have a regular coffee and a cheese danish," TK said.

"Coming right up," the vendor grabbed the pastry and coffee and quickly placed it on the counter. "That'll be $4.83."

"Okay," TK awkwardly shifted his stuff around. "Where's my wallet?"

"Dude...," the vendor shook his head.

"Aw, come the fuck on!" TK dropped all of his things on the ground.

"Dude, it's on the house. Looks like you're having a hard enough time," the vendor said.

"Thanks," TK picked his things back up and grabbed his food.

"Take it easy," the vendor said.

TK nodded and sat down on the nearest empty table. He ripped up a piece of his danish and stuffed it in his mouth. TK went to reach over for his essay but he knocked his coffee over.

"HOLY FUCK!" TK shouted and jumped up from his seat.

"Whoa...Takaishi had a little accident," a beefy guy jeered.

"I don't know how you do things in Japan, but in America we use bathrooms," TK's sociology teacher shook his head and walked on.

"Ew, gross," a couple of sorority girls passed by TK.

"I-uhhh...," TK sighed. "I hate today."


"Sounds like a really bad day," I shook my head.

"So Tai, what do you do?" Matt changed the subject.

"I'm a diplomat at the UN now," I said.

"Holy crap! That's insane! I could have never pictured you with a serious job like that," Matt looked at me with awe.

"Same here," TK nodded.

"This hasn't been the first time I've been told that," I tried playing it cool. I don't normally care when people say that, but it only reminds me of all of the dreams I never fulfilled and the misery that came along with my newfound seriousness.

"So how's Kari doing?" TK switched the subject.

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her since I left for school...," I said. I was eighteen when I was admitted to Pace University, and I haven't returned to Japan since.

"Same here," TK shrugged. "We've emailed each other a couple of times, but we lost touch after a while. It's been years since we've seen anyone. We just ran into Joe a couple of months ago, and now that we ran into you, it's totally surreal."

"Yeah," I said. We all promised that we would keep in contact with each other after we went our separate ways. It worked well for a little bit, but as time went on, we just stopped talking. The emails were less and less, until we just completely gave up keeping in touch with each other. Now, the only thing I get from Kari is a Christmas card.

"Oh boy, either I'm tripping on compressed air or it's really you guys."

The only person I know who would say that is... "Izzy?" I blinked.

"Holy fuck! Izzy?" Matt gasped.

"That's me," Izzy slid in next to Matt. "It's crazy to see all you guys here. So what have you been up to?"

"I'm an astronaut-in-training," Matt bragged.

"I'm a diplomat," I said. Before Izzy could make a sound, I interrupt him. "Yeah, I know. Unexpected, enough said."

"What? I might have been about to say something else," Izzy said defensively.

"But you weren't going to," I smirked.

"Dammit Tai," Izzy sighed.

"Missed you too, Izzy," I made a face at him.

"So Frizzy, what brings you to the city?" Matt rested his arm around Izzy's shoulders.

"I just finished moving all of my stuff into my new apartment. I flunked out of MIT so now I'm stuck in NYU," Izzy grumbled.

"Oh no, NYU! That's the worst thing that could happen to a person," I sarcastically said.

"How'd you flunk out? You're the smartest guy I know," TK put his pen down.

"My cumulative average was a 97," Izzy sighed.

"So you got expelled because you got a 97? That's a good grade if you ask me," I said.

"Tell that to MIT. You have to at least get a 98 average."


A couple of days ago...

Izzy was walking back to his single dorm when he found a note tacked on to the door.

"Dear Mr. Izumi, due to your poor cumulative grade point average, we regret to inform you that you are no longer a student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. We've taken the liberty to move all of your belongings out of your former dormitory. You are free to collect them at the designated RA's office.

-Sincerely, the staff at MIT,"

Izzy stared at the paper in disbelief. "This has to be a prank."

"Hey, Izumi! Can you get out of the way? We're trying to move Camilla's stuff in," the RA said. "She'll be taking your old dorm."

"What?" Izzy shook his head.

"Your stuff's in my place. All your crap's making me claustrophobic, so take it out before I pawn it all," the RA said.

"Wh-uh-okay," Izzy tried to hold in his anger.

"It was nice having you here! Bye, Izumi!"

"Sayonara, jackass!" Izzy walked away and flipped off the RA.

"Moshi moshi," the RA gleefully waved by to Izzy. "Gotta love that Japanese culture!"


"I was accepted to NYU, so I had no other choice but to leave Cambridge. I liked Boston bette-"

"Shhh! Don't say that too loudly!" Matt slapped his hand over Izzy's mouth. "You're in a different town now."

"Thanks for the advice," Izzy pushed Matt's hand off his face.

"Matt giving advice?"

"Sora?" I said. Sora was the girl of my dreams. I had a huge crush on her for as long as I could remember, but when I finally recognized my feelings for her, it was too late. She was interested in Matt, and the feelings were mutual. They dated throughout high school, but broke off their relationship before we all went our separate ways. Even though I was happy for them getting together, I also had this feeling of jealousy and bitterness every time they did lovey-dovey things like hold hands, kiss, and other coupley things. When I heard they broke up, I was so conflicted. On one hand, I was the happiest guy in the world, but on the other hand, I felt like the shittiest friend ever because of my schadenfreude.

"I haven't seen any of you in forever! How are you doing? I can't believe this! I missed you all!" Sora excitedly rambled on. "Move over, Izzy," she bumped her hip against his arm.

"A please would have sufficed," Izzy made some room for Sora.

"Sora, what are you doing here? I mean, I'm happy that you're here, but I-did I mention I'm glad to see you?" I stutter. Izzy smirked at me and TK looked like he was trying not to laugh. Matt and Sora were the only ones who were acting normal.

"You won't believe this! I've got some great news!" Sora grinned.

"What is it?" TK asked.

"I just got an int-"

"Wahhhhh!"

"If I didn't know any better, that sounded a lot like-"

"Mimi?" Sora leaned out of the booth.

"Oh, good! I thought I was going crazy. My day was totally sucky and I thought I was going crazy because I saw you guys and I'm so happy that it's actually you!" Mimi broke down crying and pressed her soggy face on my chest.

"Mimi, what's wrong?" I awkwardly patted her on the head. Truth is, Mimi kind of scares me, even to this day. She's a very emotional person, but don't try comforting her. One false move, and she'll bite your head off. Not literally, but I've been close enough to provoke her.

"Well...," Mimi sniffled.


Earlier that day...

"Hmm," a stern-looking woman flipped through a pink binder.

"So, what do you think?" Mimi eagerly said.

"Hmph," the woman chucked the binder to the other side of the room. "That's what I think."

"What? Why?" Mimi's jaw dropped.

"What exactly makes you any different from the average girl who loves to shop? Nothing. Your portfolio is bland. There's nothing in there that makes you stand out. I'd rather admit a person with the ugliest designs into this school, and do you want to know why? Because their design leaves a strong impact; it's unique, it's unforgettable. That rubbish," the woman pointed to the pink binder on the floor, "could easily be found on a display window at Sears."

"Uh-," Mimi grunted.

"Take a look at Stake Four's portfolio," the woman dropped a yellow binder in Mimi's lap. "Now, her designs aren't something I would wear, but it's different. When your fashion is as whimsical as hers, then you can reapply to FIT."

"Thank you for your time," Mimi sniffled.

"The door is right behind you," the woman flipped through a stack of papers. "You can tell the next person to come in."


"I'm sorry, Mimi," TK frowned.

"That's crazy! You have to be the most fashionable person I know," Matt said.

"That was my dream school...," Mimi sobbed.

"Screw FIT! You're too good for a school like that anyways," I said. "You don't need to impress a school who doesn't want you anyways!"

"Uh oh...," Izzy mouthed.

"SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT I CAN'T IMPRESS THAT SCHOOL?" Mimi growled.

"Ahhhh!" I shrieked. "You know what I meant to say!"

"Yeah," Mimi slightly calmed down. "My dream school thinks I suck," she started to cry again.

"No, I wasn't trying to s-,"

"Tai, stop talking before you upset the rest of us," Matt shook his head.

"So, what's your good news?" Izzy asked Sora.

"It's not a big deal," Sora grabbed a coaster and started to fiddle with it.

"Hmm," I gave her a look. Whatever Sora was excited about had to be big; she never acted like a happy Mimi over something small.

"Hey guys, my name's Lily. What would you guys like to drink?" the fancy-moves bartender hopped in front of our table.

"I'll have a scotch on rocks," Izzy said.

"A Cosmopolitan for me," Matt winked at the bartender.

"That has to be the girliest drink ever," TK remarked.

"And you're the girliest boy ever," Matt said back.

"Nope, you're the girliest boy ever," I said to Matt.

"Hah hah," Sora laughed.

"Uh, sorry," TK apologized to the now impatient bartender. "I'll have a Jack and Coke," TK flashed the bartender a nervous smile.

"Stella for me," Sora said.

"I'll have another Nakasawa," I raised my beer mug at her.

"I'll take the usual," Mimi whimpered.

"What's the usual?" the bartender shot Mimi an irate look.

"What I normally get!" Mimi whined.

"This is the first time you've stepped foot in this bar! I don't know what you normally get," the bartender crossed her arms.

"A Shirley Temple," Mimi said.

"Dirty Shirley or Shirley Vomit?" the bartender said.

"Ew. I just want a normal Shirley Temple," Mimi said.

"You mean non-alcoholic?" the bartender asked.

"Yeah," Mimi said.

"Alright. I'll be back," the bartender walked away.

"So, anything happened with you guys?" Sora asked.

"I burned my crotch with hot coffee," TK said.

"I moved to New York," Izzy bitterly said.

"I got yelled at by a bunch of old guys," I added.

"Some sweaty guy 'borrowed' my towel and gave it back to me. I had to burn it," Matt said.

"Sounds like you all had great days," Sora awkwardly nodded her head.

"Really? Cause my day sucks. Thank god my shift ended five minutes ago," Joe placed all of our drinks on the table and sat down next to Mimi and I. "Mimi, I put some extra cherries in your drink."

"Thanks Joe," Mimi smiled.

"Isn't it pretty cool how we all managed to run into each other?" TK said.

"It made my day," I nodded.

"Definitely. I might actually have a decent time in New York now that I know you guys are here," Izzy said.

"I missed you guys," Mimi held on tighter to me.

"This has to be the best day of my life," Sora smiled.

"Here's a toast to us!" Matt raised his glass.

"To us," we said at the same time and clinked our glasses.

And this is how my life started to pick up. Running into one friend in a huge city is pretty lucky, but running into a bunch of old friends is even luckier.


Important Message from Lily:

Hey guys! I want to add some recurring characters to the story. If you're interested, you can submit an OC for the story. Just fill out the template below (I've even provided an example underneath) and PM it to CelticMagic. I'm sorry, but I will NOT accept any OCs submitted through comments (for the sole purpose of keeping the characters a surprise for everyone else). I can't guarantee that all of your OCs will be in this story, but I'll try to put as many as I can in without taking away the attention from the canon characters. Also, I like variety, so try to be different!

Template

Name:

Ethnicity:

Eye Color:

Hair Color:

Body Build:

Personality Traits:

Occupation:

Likes/Interests:

Dislikes/Pet Peeves:

Any Additional Info:

Example

Name: Lily Reid

Ethnicity: White (Irish & German)

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Red

Body Build: Petite, small and slender, tiny all around

Personality Traits: mostly friendly, but can be oblivious to her bluntness, tactlessness. Also has the tendency to be a "little" obnoxious.

Occupation: Bartender

Likes/Interests: Sports (mostly basketball games), TDI File Island, cosplaying on TDI File Island, Bob Dylan, Digimon, beer, Boston Red Sox, Boston Celtics, the color green, free food, tailgating, sleeping in late

Dislikes/Pet Peeves: Gennai, people who post negative comments on things they know they hate, the Yankees, her drawing skills, how much of a hot mess Orlando Magic is, materialistic people, American cheese

Any Additional Info: Used to be a jazz and Irish step-dancer; works while studying at university; says she's Catholic when in reality, she hasn't stepped foot in a church since Aunt Kelley's wedding...which was around three years ago? Also, belly buttons gross her out. Isn't she boring?