742 Play Road, Pretend Friend Ville Massachusetts 2008

Once upon a time, one year old Bitty Baby Quansa longed for adventure so she could be just like her older adopted sister Felicity. Samantha would be less than happy to note Bitty had chosen the loose cannon Felicity as a role model, but Samantha could not know for Bitty couldn't yet speak using any real words. Right now both Bitty Babies could only speak in a series of ooh ahh goos also known as baby language. In the great land of Pretend Friend Ville, baby language was considered its own just like Latin, English, Spanish, French, etc. and was being studied by scholars at every university. However, once a child reached the age of three or four then they could no longer understand the language of their youth leaving baby language a great mystery to decode. The funny part was scholars often misinterpreted and often created a meaning that was drastically wrong. Only children under the age knew the truth. Such was the case for our own Playroom friends. Bitty F. and Bitty Q. conversed together as babies behind the backs of their caretakers Samantha and Nellie.

Their adopted mothers Jessica and Jackie were never around and did not act like true mothers should. Instead that job went to Samantha and Nellie. Jessica and Jackie always went off to have adventures of their own in Pretend Friend Ville while Samantha and Nellie stayed home to feed, clothe, change and watch the babies. Babies who had magic and could converse in their own language required a more watchful eye than normal real world children. Most days Samantha could swear she saw a twinkle of mischief in Bitty's eye. Samantha loved caring for younger children, but she hated changing Bitty's diaper. She longed to be free to go on her own adventures.

"I will never be a mother," said Samantha never believing that 10 years later she would be married to Eddie Ryland with a baby on the way and loving every minute of it. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as she tossed Bitty's dirty diaper into Kit's magically revised 1930s washing machine.

Nellie sighed and held onto Bitty Q's foot as the girl tried to fly away again. Bitty's face puckered into a howling cry. She had a diaper rash and was not pleased with Nellie's efforts to help her. "Oh, Samantha. Someday when you meet the right guy you'll be so happy to go off with him that you'll forget all about me and our filthy moments like this and have 12 Bitties of your own to take care of!"

"Never," said Samantha knowing deep in her ten year old heart that she would not trade this moment for the world and her future would probably go exactly as Nellie teased.

"Goo, goo, boo!" Bitty Q. screamed which translates as, "Bitty, I have the best idea ever!"

"Aweoog?" replied Bitty F. which meant, "What?"

"Let's follow Felicity to Death Valley!"

Samantha eyed the babies. "Does it seem like they are talking to each other?"

Nellie laughed. "As if. They're babies! They don't know what's going on and they won't remember it."

Samantha reluctantly nodded in agreement fighting the instinct that told her those babies were up to something.

"Aboo pliffle?" asked Bitty F. meaning, "Why?"

Everyday Felicity rode her horse to Death Valley. Not the one in California, the magical version that was located next to the park at the end of Play Road. With the element of magic it was far more dangerous than the real world one out west. No one knew what Felicity did every day in Death Valley and Bitty Q. was burning with curiosity to find out.

Felicity dearly missed her horse Penny who was still back in 1774 with her best friend Elizabeth Cole. The scary part was Felicity didn't know yet if she would ever see either of them ever again, if she would ever see anyone she loved from her time period. Felicity was trying to open her heart to this future world loving some things like electricity, flush toilets, soda and magic but hating others like her fierce longing for Elizabeth, Penny, Ben, her father's store, and yes even teatime with Miss Manderly. Felicity loved to ride horses and felt rather lost without Penny. She was trying hard to bond with this futuristic horse Whitey and explore every new spot in this fancy new world on his back. Just like babies have their own language horses also have their own tongue. It's easier to speak horse than it is to speak baby. The first thing Felicity did once arriving in Pretend Friend Ville, after experiencing the joy of wearing pants in public of course, was teach herself how to speak horse.

Felicity was the newest addition to their adopted family and with each passing day Felicity's vibrant charm continued to wow Bitty. She had barely been her three months and yet she had already saved the world five times. Samantha and Nellie saved the world once three years ago, but the way they told their story was bland and boring in comparison to Felicity's wild tales.

"Goo, goo, blah, blah, blah, goo?" said Bitty Q. to Bitty F. as Nellie powered her bottom. "Don't you want to go on an adventure too?"

"Goo blah!" said the girl who could not yet walk only crawl. "Let's go!" They shared a disgusted look as Samantha and Nellie strapped them tightly into their strollers. Escape would be harder than they thought.

"Are you ready to go, Gwen?" Samantha asked as she pulled a giant pink foam finger out of the closet. For a girl who hates sports, Samantha was the team's biggest fan.

"I was born ready!" Seven year old Gwen emerged from her lower bunk dressed neatly in her hot pink soccer uniform. She magically spun the ball on her finger.

Bitty Q. cooed and giggled which was baby for, "Grr! Gag me with a spoon, nobody cares about stupid sports!" but you'd never know that by the sweet expression on the baby's face.

Gwen was a soccer champion or at least trying to be. Her team the Pretty Hot Pinks were often referred to as the Pretty Hot Stinks by rival teams because they had lost so many games. Gwen tried not to let the heartache and disappointment of losing get to her, but it was hard to lose a game you loved when you always tried so hard.

"How about you, Logan?" asked Nellie. "Ready yet?"

Logan yawned and stretched smacking her lips together in hopes of a pre-game snack. "I guess so." Unlike Gwen who was the Pretty Hot Pink's star player Logan was just the goalie and a lazy one at that. To be fair, she had just joined the team last week. Gwen had to beg the coach on her hands and knees to let her friend join and even threatened to quit if Logan was not allowed to play. The coach, who at this point in an ugly season could not afford to lose his star player, was forced to let Logan in when that was the very last thing he wanted. The Pretty Hot Pinks were having a particularly difficult time having just set the loser record for most amounts of games lost in a single season.

Samantha supported her sister whole heartedly and never missed a single game or practice unlike her adopted mother Jessica who never once bothered to show up. Samantha hated sports yet she knew how much this meant to Gwen and so she went and wore a cheerful face whether she liked it or not. Gwen was an orphan who knew nothing about her past. She had a weird case of magic amnesia and suspiciously had no memories of any type of life before her adopted mother Jessica even though we come to find out later she had been alive for five hundred years as an elf. Within the next four years, Gwen would come to find out that she was the Gwendolyn Lindashire long lost elf princess. For now she remained simply Gwen, innocent, burning with curiosity, and filled with the same deep pain of not knowing one's roots that every orphan faces. Samantha's support and unwavering belief in her meant the world to Gwen although she would never admit it to anyone.

"What am I supposed to do?" said Molly McIntire. Molly was the other new arrival. She had nothing in common with Felicity and resented being paired with her, but right now Felicity was the only other Big Girl in the family. Molly missed her life in 1944 way more than Felicity missed her colonial days. Gwen believed they were both quite lucky indeed to know who their parents are and to have interesting back stories. So what if they missed that life? At least they could remember, at least they had families and experiences.

"Hmm," Samantha thought for a moment. "You could join Felicity in Death Valley."

"Eww!" squealed Molly. "No way!"

"Or you could stay here with Parker and Big Dolly."

Molly glanced at the rambunctious toddlers. At three and four years old they were a handful. "I'd rather go to Death Valley."

"Or you could-"

"Come to the game with us!" Gwen cried happily. "My whole family except Felicity there to cheer me on! Oh, come on, please come!"

"Oh, alright," Molly grumbled with her arms crossed. "I've got nothing better to do."

"Yes!" said Gwen.

"Oh good," said Samantha. "You can keep an eye on Big D. and Parker."

Molly sighed and took her adopted siblings each by the hand. "Why do yours get to be strapped down in strollers?"

Nellie laughed. "This will be good for you. Bond with them."

Molly struggled not to shudder as Big Dolly stared up at her with twisted eyes. "Don't worry, Molly," the three year old rasped with the voice of an old woman. "I see an easy day in your future. You're not the one who will lose a kid this day."

Molly was startled and was about to report this strange behavior to Samantha when Parker suddenly sat down and cried. "I don't wanna see soccer! I wanna wrestle!"

"Maybe when Felicity gets home," said Nellie absently placing a hand on Bitty Fatterson's stroller. Felicity was the only one willing to be beat up and broken in order to wrestle with him. Parker was a professional wrestler. His adopted mother Jackie had him fighting grown men and winning ever since he was a newborn.

Samantha always marveled at his strength yet worried about how all these head injuries would affect him later in life. "If you two be quiet and behave for Molly during the game you'll each get a lollipop," said Samantha.

"Ooo," Parker said enchanted.

"See," said Nellie, "they're perfect angels if you bribe them!"

Bitty Q. fumed at the injustice. She wanted a lollipop too! Now how to get out of this stroller?

"Come on, guys! We're going to be late!" Gwen said frantically running from the room.

Samantha and Nellie shared a secret smile as everyone went to the field. "Glogan!" The coached barked. "You're late. Gwen, get up there for kickoff."

"What am I supposed to do, sir?" Logan asked.

"Sit on the bench."

"What? Oh, come on! Let me in the game, just this once!"

Nellie and Samantha demanded, "Put her in! Put her in!"

"I already have a goalie today," replied the coach.

"Put me in the field! On the fence!"

The coach wearily slapped a hand to his forehead. "Offense. It's offense."

"That's what I said. Just let me go!"

"No!"

Samantha and Nellie cupped their hands calling, "Boo!"

"Logan?" cried Gwen. "Where's Logan?"

The coach tried to ignore Logan's pleading look, but he could never dismiss a demand from his star player. "Oh, alright."

"Yes!" Logan jumped into the air both fists pumped high.

"When we lose-"

"Oh, we were going to do that anyway," Logan said.

The game started and as expected it went rather badly for the Pretty Hot Pinks, a group who usually cared more about how their uniforms looked than any actual technique of the game. The babies didn't care about the game. They were more concerned with trying to get out of their strollers. At this point, they were nearing halftime with still no chance of freedom in sight. Molly was so ashamed she took Parker and Big D., who were sucking on lollipops, over to the other side of the field to cheer for the other team the Ugly Cool Blues.

"I hate soccer!" Bitty F. whined.

"Are we ever going get out of here?" Bitty Q lamented. Samantha was totally enthralled with the game, cheering, booing, calling out unwanted advice at inopportune times while Nellie was half watching the babies and smacking her forehead in dismay at Logan's poor performance.

"No, Logan, no!" Gwen and the rest of the Pretty Hot Pinks shouted.

Logan kept running in the opposite direction of her friend. "I am going to be a hero!" She kicked the ball into their own net. Logan stared at the glum faces around her in confusion while the smug Ugly Cool Blues were cheering. "Why aren't you celebrating?"

"Imbecile," the coach muttered under his breath. "I knew I shouldn't have put her in!"

Gwen smiled sadly. "Because you just-"

"And that's another point for the blue team," the voice over the intercom announced. "Thank you, Logan."

"What?" Logan gasped and crumpled to the ground.

Then the booing and hissing began. A few kids in the bleachers threw peanuts at her. One old lady threw her cane nearly slicing off Logan's head. "You ruined my legacy! I am the great and legendary Pretty Pinker who started this very team 100 years ago! You disgrace me. And my granddaughter will never be on such a loser team. You can count on it!"

Samantha gave the woman a dirty look and tore across the field to enfold Logan in a hug. "It's okay Logan, we all make mistakes. It's just a game. The important thing is you had fun?"

With tears streaming down her face, Logan pushed Samantha away. "It's more than just a game. I betrayed my comrades in battle, in the moment it mattered most."

"Well, you have to get back out there. If Felicity were here she'd say get right back on that horse."

"I am never playing soccer again," Logan said before walking off the field.

Samantha stared at Logan's back as she watched her adopted sibling disappear from view. She wished she knew what to do in this instance. Then Samantha began to get very angry. Angry at that coach who refused to give Logan the time of day, refused to help and teach her. For some strange reason the coach and Logan hated each other. Maybe it was because Logan was a big mischief maker and brought endless pranks down on the poor coach. That was no reason not to let her play or not show her the best techniques.

"Logan, where are you going?" Gwen asked.

Logan didn't even glance over her shoulder so humiliated was she. Gwen chased after her leaving the coach wishing not for the first time that his star player wasn't so bonded to that dreadful Logan.

"Coach!" Samantha and Nellie stalked towards him, their backs rigid with anger. Oh, no, thought the coach as a headache began pounding his skull. How he hated confrontation with those girls! It was always so strange, these ten year olds acted as mini adults and their presence demanded they be treated as such.

Bitty Baby Quansa saw her chance and seized the opportunity. Big Dolly just happened to be walking by. She was reaching into the diaper bag sitting in the bottom storage part of the stroller to get something when Bitty Q. hissed in baby language, "Let me out!"

Big Dolly's head shot up. "Who said that?" Big D. was still young enough to mostly understand baby language, but she was getting rusty and more confused. Things don't get simpler when you grow older. They get more confusing. She heard Bitty speak and thought it was English.

"Baaa goo blah goes!" Bitty Q. screamed. This sentence Big D. could not understand.

"Oh, you want Samantha? Shall I call her?" The word shall was a mark of Big Dolly's expanding language skills and her strange maturity that came with the gift of seeing the future. Although right now no one knew she could see the future, they just thought they got stuck with one odd kid.

Bitty Q. violently shook her head no. Samantha was so busy arguing with the coach and things were growing more heated that she never would have heard Big D. even if Big Dolly tried yelling to her. Big Dolly squinted at Bitty trying to make her lizard eyes focus right when suddenly she saw something like a story playing across her mind. It was a vision of Bitty Quansa about to crawl off the edge of a cliff into a pit of snakes. Big Dolly shrugged and released Bitty from her prison. She grabbed the baby's hand and yanked her one step toward Samantha, but Bitty was much stronger from fighting with her brother Parker so she managed to break free of Big D.'s grasp. She half crawled across the park towards Death Valley disappearing in a puff of magic. Big Dolly shrugged and went back to sucking her lollipop. "Whatever."

In her stroller, Bitty Fatterson cried. "Voo too moo goo!" Let me out too! Big Dolly didn't hear and continued walking back to Parker and Molly leaving Bitty Q.'s partner in crime behind.

Felicity and her horse Whitey were galloping along a steep rocky ridge when Bitty Baby Quansa suddenly appeared directly behind them. Being too preoccupied with her thoughts and the majestic beauty surrounding them, Felicity didn't notice the crawling infant following her every move. Felicity rode through a valley at the bottom of a cliff. Bitty followed by holding onto Whitey's tail. Battered and scraped she was dragged through the dirt and scorpions. A giant boulder was suspended at the top teetering over the brink. Bitty Quansa stared up at it in amazement. She flicked a pebble at the bigger rock. A light tap was enough to send it crashing down to earth missing Bitty Baby by mere millimeters.

Again, Felicity rode on completely oblivious. Next they came to a rickety bridge over deep canyon. A few lopsided boards were missing completely making the structure totally unstable. Either way it was still a long way down Bitty noticed as she peered over the edge. Heedless of the danger, Felicity rode across at full steam never once pausing. Bitty screamed as she fell through. Her little hand still grasped Whitey's tail. Whitey neighed and reared causing Bitty to sink even lower in midair. Felicity neighed back and gently stroked his neck. The frisky horse calmed enough to right himself and charge forward. As soon as they safely landed on the other side the threads holding the bridge up disintegrated and fell thousands of feet down into the canyon.

Felicity stopped when they arrived at a waterfall. She dismounted and let Whitey drink from the cool pool. "Ooooh, ahh," said Bity Q. and it was the same in any language. Bitty was absolutely mesmerized by the crystal blue water flowing down the rock face. A narrow stone bridge went through the waterfall with water pouring down both sides. the effect was stunning, yet it was not meant for anyone to actually walk under for the surface was quite slippery and anyone who dared to step there would slide right into the water. Bitty started crawling right towards it.

Whitey neighed saying to Felicity, "What's that kid doing there?"

Felicity frowned and responded with a nicker. "What kid?"

Whitey tossed his head in the direction of the falls. "That baby."

Felicity gasped. "Bitty!" She rushed to the edge of the slick path watching in nail biting terror as Bitty Q. crawled across the narrow wet ledge.

Whitey stamped his foot and neighed. "Just wait for her to fall in the water and then go get her."

Felicity glared at the horse. "She can't swim!"

"That's the point. You rescue her in the water."

"Don't sass me, boy." Felicity wasn't going to take any lip from that horse.

Bitty kept crawling. She made it to the other side in one piece and kept going onward further and further into the dangerous landscape of Death Valley. Felicity whistled. Whitey came running with a raised eyebrow. "You called, master?"

"Shut up and follow that baby!" Felicity commanded in a series of whinnies.

"As you wish m'lady."

The adventurous Bitty Quansa led Felicity on a merry chase through the most scariest and heart pounding of obstacles. Felicity was confident charging through here on her own, but now with her baby sister even the most average and every day dangers Felicity usually encountered loomed like a possible death sentence for Bitty.

Whitey sighed and shook his mane. "Why don't you just let the kid go? She seems to have a death wish."

"Because Samantha and Nellie will kill me and I happen to have a strong will to live right now."

Whitey wanted to come back with a smart aleck remark, but couldn't think of a thing. Felicity nudged him unto a canter. The next time Felicity spotted Bitty she was crawling along the edge of a cliff. At the bottom of the cliff was an endless pit of withering, slimy, hideous snakes. Felicity shuddered in disgust as Bitty cooed in wonder. Bitty's hand and knee slipped. Dirt crumbled down onto the hissing snakes. Bitty giggled and started crawling faster. Realizing she couldn't risk riding with Whitey's weight teetering so close to the edge, Felicity dismounted and ran after Bitty. Whitey neighed as he galloped alongside them, a safer distance inward.

Bitty glanced over her shoulder. Spying Felicity chasing after her wildly waving her arms and screaming things like, "Bad baby! Get over here right now!" she crawled even faster. Then Bitty's hand and knee slipped. In one sweeping fluid motion that only lasted a nanosecond in real time yet an endless eternity to Felicity, Bitty Baby disappeared over the edge.

Felicity gasped. "Bitty!" She peered over the edge; her heart nearly stopping in the fear that she would see the baby tangled in squiggling mass of snakes. Bitty Quansa looked up at her and drooled, a delighted grin lighting up her chubby cheeks. Bitty's tight fists grasped a tree root that was swinging free and she was holding on for dear life smiling as she lived her adventure.

Felicity dramatically put a hand over her heart and let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. "Oh, thank goodness!" She scooped the baby up in her arms and summoned her horse with a whistle.

Whitey gave a gentleman's bow or whatever the equivalent is for a horse. "You called, m'lady?"

Again Felicity glared at her wise guy horse. "Home, James. And keep the commentary to a minimum this time, hmm? Don't want to wake the baby!"

Whitey snorted. "I doubt there's ever been a moment in that kid's life when she actually slept soundly. Too busy dreaming up mischief."

Felicity laughed merrily. "Not unlike someone else I know."

"I have no idea to whom you are referring."

Bitty Quansa yawned as she nestled deeper into her role model's arms. The quiet neighs and nickers as Felicity conversed with her horse lulled her into a nap. It had been a great day although she wished she could speak horse for she had the distinct uneasy feeling that they were talking about her. Even though she talked to Bitty in their own baby language every day she didn't like being on the other end not knowing what was being said.

Whitey raced back to Play Road with Felicity's fear driving them faster and faster. Felicity wasn't afraid of being injured in Death Valley. She prided herself on her bravery except when it came to this one thing. Fearless Felicity was deathly afraid of Samantha's wrath and now she was cowering home to her like a wounded puppy. If Samantha realized one of the babies disappeared. . . .

Oh, no! Bitty Fatterson! Did she go with her partner in crime? It's always a guarantee that where there's one girl getting into trouble another soon followed. Was she still wandering around Death Valley somewhere and Felicity never noticed? What horrible punishment would Samantha unleash on Felicity for this?

As they crossed the park, Felicity spied a soccer game happening on the main field. The hot pink uniforms told her all she needed to know. She reined Whitey in for a closer look. Her heart was pounding in dread, but then grin crept up her face as she saw Samantha and Nellie arguing with the coach completely oblivious to the one empty stroller behind them. The other stroller was blessedly full of pudgy Bitty Fatterson whose face was scrunched up in an angry scream. Thankfully, she was being ignored. Must have been some game, Felicity thought triumphantly, oh, thank you Glogan! Felicity's eyes began shining like a girl who is about to win a round in a competitive family game night yet is nervously unsure on this her final turn.

Felicity deposited an armful of Bitty Q. back in her stroller. She had just finished fashioning the seatbelt and was bending over to mutter a mild scolding to the groggy baby when Samantha walked by. "Oh Felicity, you came to Gwen's game after all! She'll be so happy that you're here."

Felicity straightened and gave Samantha a tight, forced smile. "Yes, that's exactly why I'm here. I finally saw the light and came here. To support my sister by cheering her on at this recreational sporting event. No ulterior motive at all. That's me, faithful friend."

Whitey whinnied and stomped his front hooves. "Liar. Try a little harder could ya? Might as well staple it on your forehead. Have to do better than that if you want to fool anyone."

Felicity neighed back. "Shut up."

Samantha frowned thinking that was an odd remark to make, but promptly let it go when she saw Logan run back out on the field. She turned away from Felicity, Whitey, and the babies as she cheered for Logan. It seemed Felicity's presence as well as a heart to heart talk with her best friend Gwen suddenly made her determined to get back on the horse after all and give soccer another try.

"Goo noo blah gah?" said a bitter Bitty F. to a content yet tired Bitty Q. "How was your adventure?"

Bitty Q. yawned and closed her eyes sleepily. "Best day ever. I wanna hang out with my friend Felicity every day."